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Post by Mistress Tatl. on Nov 14, 2013 9:32:27 GMT -5
I also am excited to be an old lady some day. Because when I'm an old lady, I get to dye my hair pink and buy a bat mobile and just go insane and scare the crap out of people.
I also aspire to have something like a mini zoo in my back yard.
No, it's not weird that you can't imagine yourself in a relationship with anyone. I have a similar issue, but I can only imagine myself in a relationship with fictional characters for almost the exact same reasons. But it really kind of hurt when all my friends were always fawning over my best friend, but they didn't seem to care much about me. It hurt when I was in a bad car crash (I mean I came out of it with just a bruise, but it was rough), and nobody friggin cared. Then later that year, my best friend got into a slightly less bad car crash with the same injury and everyone was like "AW. POOR HANNAH. WE LOVE YOU HANNAH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'D EVER DO WITHOUT." Blah blah. My friend consistently complaining about her bruise didn't help either, considering that I didn't complain about mine, really -__-. My bruise was even worse because I couldn't put on jeans.
I'm extremely self-conscious about how men don't really notice me in the slightest. Like when I went to Ren fest with my friends and all the men were openly staring at their boobs but nobody even cast me a second glance...<< And my boobs ARE about the same size. I mean, it probably helped that they had corsets but I was at least wearing a low cut shirt! I don't do that much....
Okay, so the thing is I've changed since High School. I've grown more distant because I was tired of trying and caring when my other friends clearly didn't. I was sick of being told nobody had time to hang out for me because they were too busy hanging out for each other. Now my "best friend" is even doing it. Sometimes I feel like slapping her for how inconsiderate she is toward me while she finds the NERVE to complain about how I've been short tempered with her lately. WELL NO DUH. She only managed to hate on everything I like and not care at all about my life. I use quotes around the words "best friend" because she still calls me that. But if we didn't work together, we probably wouldn't even talk.
I guess I'm weird because I hole up with a lot of anger and rage and never let go of it until it just naturally fades. I hold grudges like no tomorrow...But you know, the more something happens to me, the angrier I get and the more open I get about that anger. This best friend thing, it's the second time it's happened to me, too.
Gah. Now I'm venting! Curse you Oakey! Curse you and your ability to make me open up!
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FENRIS
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Post by FENRIS on Nov 14, 2013 21:11:34 GMT -5
Unlike you, Tatl, I'm actually terrified of becoming old. And by old I literally mean any age after my mid-thirties I don't want to live through. I don't like the thought of getting wrinkles and slowly becoming unable to do the things I love because my body is wearing out and slowly shutting down. My eyes are bad enough, I have a possibility of being blind when I'm in my sixties and seventies.
I also have an intense fear of losing everything, friends, family, possessions, etc. I used to have bad nightmares during Fire Prevention week at school because I'd dream about my home catching fire and me losing everything. It's also why I'm clingy towards others, since it's hard enough for me to make friends as it is. I was bullied bad when I was thirteen to probably about fifteen because I was in my weeaboo stage and none of my 'friends' helped me out in my times of need. So I only had one close friend in school, who I had been friends with since Kindergarten.
I have horrible body image and self-confidence as well, there is not a thing I like about myself. I hate how I look, how I act, and how I am, so you won't find pictures of me that I took anywhere. The only way I'll allow people to take pictures of me is when I'm in cosplay, where I feel comfortable with myself and actually happy. Like I'm hiding myself in a costume. It could also be why I want a fursuit so badly, so I can Blizzard instead of what I am now. Hmm, now that I think of it I was more chatty and fun-loving when I was in my Zacharie cosplay, hiding my face behind a mask.
Also unlike both of you, I do want a relationship so badly. But I'm really shy about things like that and I'm horribly confused about what to do. I'd like someone to just take control of my life so I don't have to make decisions anymore because frankly I suck at it and usually make things worse. I want to simply be loved by people, that's why I dream of being Tumblr famous. Having people compliment you and say nice things and just let you know that there is someone in the world who cares about you even a little bit would be paradise for me.
I'll let you guys in on a little secret, I care about all of you more than I do anyone else. You guys are all super rad and make me feel good and even though I'm lazy and don't do what I'm supposed to and I'm just a huge butt sometimes you guys don't care and like me anyways. I am so grateful because you guys treat me better than people irl do, even better than my parents. When I'm feeling down in the dumps I'll try to remember something fun on here and it helps a lot, from Kyran and I being total losers in the c-box those months ago, to SML being the best wife ever and helping me through so many things, to Cobalt being a huge cutie all the time like get out you're perf, to Oakey who's just been my idol for years and the person I've dreamt of being and everything she does is magical and makes me happy.
Uhhmm, my dream job would be either being a full 1700's Golden Age pirate or being a 50's housewife. I am fascinated with sailing around and doing whatever you please and fighting and drinking and braving through some crazy storms and aaahhhh~ The Queen Anne's Revenge is my dream boat and if I could sail around on that baby I'd be able to die happy. I've done nothing worthwhile in my life so if I could be a pirate I could live life fast and hard and have no regrets. And being a housewife, I dunno. I strongly believe I was born in the wrong time and being a housewife in the fifties is my calling.
Lastly, because I've rambled for way too long, one of the weirdest things about me is that I shower-roleplay. I have hushed conversations with myself as one of my characters and it helps me develop them and get them down to a T. For example, I was thinking of an OC to put onto Oakey's site last night in the shower and remembered that I had a Vampire from the Plague era. He was originally classy and like any generic vamp until I had a shower rp and he changed dramatically. Now he looks like the stereotypical hottie vampire who is silent and brooding and stuff but he's really a huge dork who loves iCarly and doesn't quite understand fashion. He didn't change his clothes in little over six hundred years so when put to his own devices he'll totally wear crocs and fannypacks and sun visors and stuff xD He was also kind of a huge jerk? Like the conversation went a little like this. "Why aren't you caring about me and my problems? It was disgusting back then, I got bitten little before the plague so when it happened everyone was dying around me and I had to deal with that. Go on a quiet afternoon stroll? Fat chance, I'd be walking and there'd be people whining like 'help me I'm dying' and 'Get me a doctor' and 'where's my mom?', how is a guy supposed to relax with all that going on? And the streets were so gross, even the kids I stepped on were cleaner than the ground." "You stepped on kids?!" "Duh, didn't you just hear me? They're cleaner than the ground. I've been wearing the same plague shoes for centuries, how much are a decent pair these days? Two, three pennies?" Yeah, my shower-rps are weird but they're part of me yo.
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Mama Oak
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Post by Mama Oak on Nov 14, 2013 23:39:16 GMT -5
It's not that I don't want a relationship, so badly do I yearn for that kind of connection. It's more along the lines of, I believe myself incapable of it. And ohmygod, the shower is my muse-heaven. I wish I had a water-proof notepad or something because all my ideas come to me in there. And then I'm trying to throw my clothes on in a rushed hurry so I can write everything down before I forget. xD And I'm excited to see that character! I know I'm going to have a reaper and a vampire from the Holocaust because those were my characters from Crossroads v1.
And lastly, Blizz, this is for you~
Okay, something weird to wrap this up. Almost throughout my entire childhood I had a ridiculous, absurd, and severe fear of birds. Living in the Panhandle of Texas most of my life it is OPEN SKIES AND NO TREES. No where to hide. I used to run from the inside of cars to the insides of buildings. And I'd never even had a traumatic experience with birds once.
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Post by Mistress Tatl. on Nov 15, 2013 1:03:43 GMT -5
Oakey sounds like me three or four years ago sometimes xD. Essentially, I'm the same (particularly in yearning for a relationship but not really believing I'm capable of it).
MY first character on Oakey's site is def going to be a hunter. Then maybe a Vampire. We'll see...
And ANOTHER weird bit from me: I have had dreams about Loki saving me for three or four nights now.
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FENRIS
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Post by FENRIS on Nov 15, 2013 1:39:06 GMT -5
Oakington ; u ; <3
My second one is gonna be a human Scarlett *Rave noises*
Weird thing about me, ahh gosh. Hmm, from working at Foodland and having to dump out the expired yogurt I can no longer even smell it or I'll gag. I also once took a drink of some expired pop I was throwing out to try it and it also made me gag.
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Mama Oak
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Have you come to make me a martyr?
You are my love, my angle, don't treat me like potato.
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Post by Mama Oak on Nov 18, 2013 22:55:59 GMT -5
I'm like that with peanut butter and butter. The smell of either makes me instantly nauseous.
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FENRIS
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Post by FENRIS on Nov 18, 2013 23:09:26 GMT -5
I have an unhealthy obsession with changing things online, my avatar, siggie and name here, my blog theme and avatar on tumblr, my usernames most of them time on anything, etc,. I've been wanting to change my Tumblr URL for months now from sugoiasastrider to jamess-kidd (I have it hoarded so I have it for sure) and the only reason I haven't is because my friends voted against it. My theme will probably change like once a month and change dramatically. From the pictures and backgrounds and such to the actual coding, everything is changed. my theme now is Audino from pokemon, my last one was Assassin's Creed, the one before that was Attack on Titan. It's cray.
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Post by Mistress Tatl. on Nov 25, 2013 13:16:50 GMT -5
I have an unnatural obsession with Doctor Who, but even more so for Sherlock Holmes and for Dragon Age. Seriously. Unnatural.
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Sprout
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Post by Sprout on Nov 25, 2013 15:00:58 GMT -5
One could say it's... supernatural.
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Post by Mistress Tatl. on Nov 25, 2013 15:36:42 GMT -5
Have I mentioned I absolutely loathe the series Supernatural? It's an insult to the Christian mythology it includes. BUT I absolutely love Warehouse 13~
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Sprout
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Post by Sprout on Nov 25, 2013 15:42:00 GMT -5
I don't watch Supernatural myself, but I can see why you find it offensive. I also watch large amounts of Doctor Who, and Sherlock (well, maybe not large amounts of Sherlock...) and I love Harry Potter. I also draw (badly) a lot and sing (badly) very loudly when I am alone.
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Post by Mistress Tatl. on Nov 25, 2013 16:03:15 GMT -5
Lady...You're my new buddy. Because you sound a lot like me.
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FENRIS
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Post by FENRIS on Nov 25, 2013 18:26:23 GMT -5
I love Supernatural aaahhh~ I personally don't believe there is a god so I don't find it offensive at all and it's so good and Lucifer is the love of my life u v u I love Sherlock as well but Doctor Who is the bane of my existence. It was literally hell for me when that Doctor Who day happened, ugh. Now I know what the non-Homestucks felt when we had the update after two months and lost control of ourselves.
I haven't put a single picture of myself on my Facebook, every picture of me was taken by someone else.
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Post by Mistress Tatl. on Nov 25, 2013 18:30:12 GMT -5
Sherlock Holmes (the movies, the shows, the book, and all) is actually when I meant. Except Elementary. I just can't.
I take way too many selfies but don't post many of them. I just like taking pictures of myself and deleting them. Unless they make a good drawing reference.
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