as it tore through me [private--oakey]

[splashtana ★]

Some would say it was a repetitive process, but she wouldn't. Never, it was a normal daily pattern to her. In fact, everything that Sweetleaf normally did in life was pretty much planned out from the moment her doe eyes opened to the second her tail-tip wrapped over her nose as she drifted into a deep sleep. Sometimes her sleep was touched by StarClan, painting confusing canvases of dreams for her to understand. But that was merely her job as a medicine cat, and to be honest, she loved every single second of it. Herbs were her real passion, although she had trained as a warrior and all for a bit, but Sweetleaf was quite clumsy at times, and that hadn't worked out at all for her in the beginning. Then there was the obvious fact that she was much better at taking away pain than causing it, because that was just mouse-brained, so she became a medicine cat.

Her baby blue hued doe eyes scanning over her herbal storage supplies, the tortoiseshell and white she-cat sighed, noticing that she was low on at least three herbs, marigold, burdock root, and daisy petals. She'd have to keep an eye on her poppy supplies, as well as her chamomile stocks. But that was the least of problems. Sweetleaf suffered a weak nose, so the slightest bit of dust made her sneeze and wheeze. Spotting the dust, the delicate she-cat's ears flattened in disgust, and immediately she used her tail to sweep it out of the den, sneezing softly in that kitten way, she'd never quite outgrown it since her kithood, and dipped her tail into the pool of water in the corner of her den. With a content grin, Sweetleaf blinked in satisfaction, seeing as all of her herbs were sorted to near perfection, and that it was as clean as it was going to get in a den full of dried leaves, flowers, and berries.

Now that she was on her sleek and clean, alabaster paws, the medicine cat allowed a cheery smile to dance across her maw before trotting from her den with an enthusiastic flick of her tail. Passing a few of her clanmates clustered by the fresh-kill pile, she smiled at them as she passed. "Morning, guys!" Sweetleaf said in her honey-sweet voice, which sounded a little hoarse because of the dust in her throat. It would be easily cleared with either honey or chamomile. That's off track. Once she reached the center of the clearing, where she figured she'd be at least somewhat heard, she sat down. Lifting her right forepaw, she licked it, then gently drew it over her left ear for a quick clean before she returned to a well-postured sitting position, her baby blue doe eyes glowing with pleasure. Typical Sweetleaf emotions and behavior.

"Redfang, would you like to help me get some herbs? I'm running terribly low on some of my stocks." The dainty WindClan medicine cat asked, batting her eyes innocently as she spoke. Oh dear. Sweetleaf hadn't meant to come off as flirty and pathetic. The slim tortoiseshell was a medicine cat, for StarClan's sake! Hoping no one had noticed, she just let her bright smile resume it's position, though on the inside she was very upset with herself. Redfang was just a clanmate, one that had never helped out before, so she figured it would be good to get some sort of trust built so if she ever had to treat a wound of his, it would go a bit smoother than if she had never spoken to him before. Sweetleaf wanted all of her clanmates to feel comfortable and safe around her, because she was their medicine cat. It was also just the way Sweetleaf was, to be honest.

[Mama Oak]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][bg=332E2E] Lying with his chin resting neatly upon his forelegs and eyes shut, the WindClan warrior looked almost as if he were lightly dozing. But his large, triangular ears were perked and twitching at every noise, giving sign that Redfang was alert and, indeed, awake; listening to the familiar comfort of camp life around him. When he picked up the near-silent footfalls of a light, delicate feline approaching, his amber-green eyes slowly opened, immediately resting on the pretty calico, Sweetleaf. As the medicine cat spoke, Redfang lifted his head and the edges of his lips pulled slightly upward; a tender smile that gave no hint to his surprise. ”Why certainly Sweetie,” he answered softly, using the shortened version of the medic’s name. Many cats around camp had taken to calling her that and it had slipped without thought from his parted maw. And despite not being particularly close to Sweetleaf, the abbreviation seemed easy and not too misplaced upon his lips. As he rose swiftly to his paws, the ginger tabby glanced wonderingly at his clanmate and felt a stab of remorse. Was it possible that Sweetleaf thought he was avoiding her? Or that he held Hareleap’s death over her? In that very moment, Redfang could think of no other reason why she would call on him for assistance, not when she had never done so before. Not when she had an apprentice who would normally aid her in such tasks. But then Redfang shook his head and realized he was being silly. Many of his clanmates, warriors and warrior apprentices alike, helped Sweetleaf, with or without her asking. And it wasn’t completely improbable that Flickerpaw was preoccupied, busy, or simply incapacitated. Afterall, it wasn’t as if he blamed her, surely she knew that — and anyway, how could he? Redfang had no misgivings that Sweetie had done anything but her best that ill-fated night; pinning Hareleap’s blood on her paws justified nothing and made little sense at all. But still, as his gaze wandered into her own, Redfang did feel a faint pang of pain in his chest. He couldn’t deny though, that those large, pale blue pools never failed to bring back memories of that dark medicine cat den, many moons ago. The pain was a dull ache; a wound that had healed, but not without leaving a scar. Remembering was like a tongue, returning to the empty cavity left my a lost tooth. Hareleap’s death had not been a quick one; their still-born kittens had long been taken from camp and an entire sun-high passed before she finally slipped away to join them. Redfang had spent that entire day by her side, waving away both the rabbit and soaked moss his concerned sister had brought him hours into his standing vigil. With the moments of his mate so final and few, Redfang refused to let any second pass without her pale brown pelt against his side. At first she had cried without cease for the three tiny bundles carried dead in her belly for moons, but he had taken the tears from her cheek with strong, assuring strokes of his gentle tongue. And for the long hours that had followed, the two much-in-love felines had simply talked. Relived their times together with quiet, nostalgic laughs, never quite facing the truth that they were coming to an abrupt end as they laid there, pressed pelt-to-pelt; sharing their warmth and closeness. As they had recalled and remembered days long past, more than once it almost seemed like nothing was wrong. That their kittens weren’t dead and that Hareleap wasn’t dying. Lying there, chests rumbling with purrs (his strong and comforting, hers raspy and ever-weakening) it was easy to imagine that the morning had ended much differently. But entertaining such delusions didn’t change anything. The end came anyway. With her body growing weary and her eyes heavy, Hareleap had apologized over and over for dying; for not only failing to give life to their kittens, but then leaving before they could ever have a second chance at family. Redfang had been quick to quiet the hushed sorrows; to press a purring muzzle to his queen’s neck and make her believe that she needed not his forgiveness. That she had done no wrong. And it had been then, at that precise moment, that it had really hit the WindClan tom... and he had to accept that she was beginning to slip away. Quietly and with all the affection of their many moons together in his voice, he had buried his face into her pale brown fur and asked her to promise. Promise to take care of their kittens in StarClan and watch over him until the day came that he would walk among them. When he would finally learn the sound of their happy squeals, the high-pitched joy in their laughter, and the ring of his name on their lips. As the words went muffled into her fur, as he asked her to love them in death as much as they both would have loved them in life, the tears — kept locked away that entire sun-high — had finally come streaming from his eyes. And when he had finally drawn back, Hareleap had gone; leaving a promise unpromised. It was Sweetleaf’s pale blue eyes that he had found immediately afterward, his own rimmed and blurred with tears. And in his moment of wavering weakness, when his distress threatened to spill out of him, those cerulean pools had captured his instability and steadied him. Had taken his roiling grief and soothed them, wordlessly and without prompt, into a gathered composure. And now, moons later, in the middle of WindClan camp, those ice-colored pools had captured his again. Blinking to free himself from the unwarranted memories, Redfang searched the medicine cat’s eyes for a long moment before tearing his gaze away and laughing just beneath his breath, shaking his head to clear his mind. Next he shook out his short ginger pelt, returning energy and feeling into his body, which had grown comfortably lethargic in his short rest. When he lifted his eyes back again, the remembering was gone and in its place a warm friendliness. ”What would we be looking for today?” Words: 1,040 Tagged: Sweetleaf/El Splasho Status: Private Muse: Uncooperative Notes: Derp, sorry this is so tardy and clunky. Hopefully the next’ll turn out better if I reply promptly instead of draggin’. Background Music/Listening To:

[splashtana ★]

<sup>At his response, a genuine smile spread across her maw and she trotted over to meet up with him at the center of the clearing. With her tail raised straight up in glee, the medicine cat gave a gentle twitch of her tail tip, eyes closing shut as she tipped her head to the side in a grin. Blinking open her baby blue doe eyes once more, she let herself adjust to the situation at hand. So, the cat that had been pulling at the back of her mind for moons, since she was only fresh out of training as a medicine cat. It was all because she’d failed to save his mate. Maybe if she’d done more, Harespring would have lived. Then Redfang wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable around her. But she couldn’t help acknowledge that nagging voice at the back of her head. The one telling her she’d done all that she could, and StarClan had decided it was time for the pretty young queen to join them, as well as the kittens that had never even had a chance at life. It was a cruel punishment for Redfang though, as he’d done nothing wrong. Her own fate hadn’t been nearly as bad as that little family’s had been.

Losing her family, okay, that had been bad, but she’d been adopted by a new family, so all was pretty much good in her little world. But suffering a miscarriage earlier in life, that had shaken her up. Though, even that couldn’t compare to stillborn children and the death of your one true love. With a sharp intake, her eyes widened slightly, and she forced herself to look down. Redfang looked so much like Jaered, the BloodClan tom she fell in love with as a silly little apprentice. But it had been such a pathetic love story. He comforted her, knocked her up, and then moved on. She suffered a miscarriage, and walked on the dark side of the world for moons because she thought it was her fault. That was partly what drove her to become medicine cat apprentice of WindClan, she felt that she was unfit to carry the children of a loving mate. That would mark her as barren and unfertile, making her undesirable. Living the lonely love life of a medicine cat was better than living the lonely love life of a warrior, now wasn’t it?

“Thanks, Redfang.” Sweetleaf meowed after a few moments of thought, looking back up at the warrior with a gentle smile again, though this time to sincerity of it could be questioned. She was just so used to seeing an emotion, one she couldn’t place, in his gaze. It just seemed as if he blamed her for losing his family. Sure, she hadn’t been able to save them, but StarClan had a destiny for everyone. Clearly his destiny was for those horrors to happen. Naturally, she felt horrible for thinking this way. Sweetleaf often felt like this. Even though he’d called her Sweetie, which to some she-cats would be a perfect excuse to hook up with the tom, she passed it off as nothing. It was merely a nickname that most of her clanmates called her because, like her name suggested, she was quite sweet towards them indeed. But, weren’t most medicine cats sweet, calm, gentle, and kind in nature? Well, Flickerpaw might be an exception to that, but Sweetleaf secretly admired her apprentice’s spunk and slightly aggressive personality. Noticing she felt hot all over, and realizing suddenly that the skin under her calico and white pelt was probably flushed bright red, she calmed herself down as best as she could, and blinked softly.


“I figured we could look for some lavender today because I’m running terribly low on it. Plus, Flickerpaw doesn’t know what it is quite yet, so I’ll need you to help out as not to spoil her lesson on it!” The medicine cat explained with a knowing blink and a flick of her tail. Some of the clan knew how organized everything needed to be in her den and pretty much in her entire daily lifestyle. So, Sweetleaf had taken the liberty of organizing Flickerpaw’s lessons into classes of the healing properties of herbs rather than jumbling random herbs into one day. Basically, for example, she’d do poppy seed and raspberry leaves in one lesson because they both eliminated pain. Though, poppy seed was much more commonly used than raspberry leaves because it was a stronger pain diluter than raspberry leaves. But raspberry leaves were given to a queen in labor because poppy seeds caused stillborn kittens and unnatural deformities in the lucky kittens to survive the toxic womb poison, to put it in simple words. “You ready?” She asked with a smile, her brilliant gaze glowing with delight as she spoke.</sup>

[Mama Oak]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][bg=332E2E] The comforting blue of Sweetleaf’s doe-like eyes was abruptly torn from his own. With a quick, subtle change of expression — which might have gone undetected, had Redfang not been so studious in trying to read her — those ice-colored orbs had released him and fallen downcast. And almost instantly, a strange, empty coldness nipped at Redfang’s chest; a biting chill that swirled through his body, pulsed through his veins, hitched in his breath, and was gone — all in a single, quick second. In her eyes — which had been a supportive tether in his moment of greatest confusion — he thought he saw something flicker; the faintest trace of... something else in that averted gaze... something that nearly mirrored the pain he had only just carefully locked away. Was she remembering something, too? Or someone? For a moment, the WindClan medicine cat kept her gaze from his own, mind apparently ensnared by a demanding thought. What that thought was, Redfang could not say, but as the seconds ticked by, the subtle coils of concern began to unfurl in his stomach. But before he could think to ask her if she was alright, the calico she-cat returned to him, her soft-spoken words and small smile almost taking him by surprise. Those baby-blue eyes found his and Redfang silently hoped that she did not glimpse the concern he quickly tried to stifle. It was almost difficult to wipe the benign emotion from his features and the ginger tom wasn’t completely certain his attempt to do so was entirely successful. Even as he tried to lock the traces of emotion away behind his amber-green eyes, the edges of Redfang’s maw tipped downward in a small frown. His brow twitched as he found himself wandering once more in her eyes, only to notice that her fitting smile did not touch the cerulean depths. There was a disconnect there, as if the grin itself was only an empty gesture. Suddenly, Redfang realized that he had lost himself for a long, stretching moment, searching her calico face carefully. Blinking quickly, he averted his eyes and tried to fumble for the proper words to cover his folly, brow knitting together with a sudden hurry to say something. Ears flicking as they grew hot at the very tips. Fortunately (saving him the certain blunder of garbled speech), the medicine cat didn’t seem to notice — or at least did not comment — and was speaking of the herbs they would be searching for. Thankful for her words, he lifted his eyes and let them refocus on Sweetleaf’s dainty face, a voice in the back of his mind chiding at him to stop acting a fool. When she prompted him about leaving, a dazzling smile once more took up on her muzzle; an expression much more convincing than before that lent a bright, shining gleam to her eyes. Relief swept through him and suddenly Redfang was positively beaming; a broad, stupid grin breaking loosely across his maw. All memory was momentarily stifled and his concern reassured by the light airiness to Sweetleaf’s voice and smile. Tipping his head to the side thoughtfully, he leafed his tongue down the back of his strong, pointed teeth and was unable to bite back the soft, almost inaudible, purr that radiated from his chest; a resonating rumble of hearty contentment. ”Ready when you are!” The words were thick with warmth and the WindClan tom raised his eyes to the cloudy sky, a hint of playfulness kindling in their hazel depths as he noted the darkness gathering in some places. When his gaze fell back on her, his smile had tugged lopsided and grown playful at the corners. ”Maybe we’ll get caught in the rain, now wouldn’t that be fun?” The words had the potential to be sarcastic, but Redfang’s voice was easy and still trembling with the echo of his gradually-tapered purr. He loved it when it rained, and the sky was busy with clouds that looked to promise light, scattered sprinkles throughout the day. Words: 673 Tagged: Sweetleaf/El Splasho Status: Private Muse: I don't even ._. Notes: Yuck, sorry my posts are coming out so weird and muddled. I don't know what's wrong with meh. Also... exalt-tagged, fellow Imperial Foxheart! <3 Background Music/Listening To: La Serenissima (Lorena McKennitt), Ghosts That We Knew (Mumford & Sons), Forever After Days (The National), Empress (Patrick Wolf)

[splashtana ★]

<sup>Rain was one of those things the dainty little she-cat didn’t exactly like because it tended to bring out the RiverClan adaptations in her. Her RiverClan days were long behind her, she knew that and all, but when the water hit her pelt it just felt odd. Memories would come back, and she’d just feel horrible letting her former clanmates down and leaving them forever. Yet, the rain would be good for all of the herbs in their territory. Making a mental note to send Flickerpaw out later to fetch some goldenrod, as it needed water to grow, the medicine cat flicked her tail and padded towards the camp entrance. “Alright, let’s go!” Sweetleaf purred and raced out into the grassy landscape that kissed the sky and everything that the sky included. WindClan was fantastic, the calico and white she-cat thought with a smile. Being able to race along the land with the wind rushing through her fur. Having simple WindClan adaptations, as her father had been a WindClan cat, Sweetleaf was able to gain some speed, but she was sure Redfang would be much swifter being a type three WindClanner, and full blooded at that. With nothing around her but flowing grass and rolling, black clouds, the medicine cat felt free.

Until a blaze of lighting split the sky, quickly followed by a loud clap of thunder shook the earth, causing her fur to fluff up in horror. Pupils shrinking to specks, Sweetleaf parted her jaws in a scream of terror. “Redfang!” She wailed, tears filling her eyes as she looked around wildly. Thunder had always scared her, because of her past. The night she miscarried there was a thunderstorm, the day Jaered left her, there had been a storm. And quite recently when she’d been lost in ShadowClan territory, there had been a thunderstorm. Clearly the unstable little medicine cat wasn’t on the best terms with the loud result of air pressure. Flattening herself to the ground in a shaking heap, she looked around for the warrior tom who had agreed to accompany her on a herb hunt. “Go away, go away, go away.” Sweetleaf mumbled to no one in particular, just the storm. Realizing she must look like a complete idiot, the eighteen moon old shakily rose to her alabaster paws and looked around cautiously, eyes as delicate a thin layer of glass. Trying to stop herself from shaking to much, her efforts were in vain when she nearly jumped out of her skin when a raindrop kissed her sleek, windswept pelt.

Tears instantly formed in her eyes, and the baby blue doe eyed she-cat raced blindly back in the direction of where she had come from, horrified by her own self and the horrors of her past during storms. Not wanting to relive anything at all, she just continued running back towards her camp, until she raced into something solid and hard. With the wind knocked from her, Sweetleaf gasped breath, feeling the adrenaline that had been pulsing through her leave just like that. She was just left there on the ground, puffing and gasping like an idiot until the breath finally returned to her lungs. Sitting up, her head throbbing, Sweetleaf frowned. Now what was she supposed to do. Her attempt to stand up failed as the ground was spinning. Falling back into a sloppy sitting position, she waited for something. Someone. She wasn’t even sure what she was waiting for, to be honest, but the medicine cat felt pretty certain it would be good. “Am I dreaming?” She asked, her eyes blurring as she spoke. The reason for her asking was the fact that she was seeing two paws at the end of each of her forelegs, and it was freaking her out.</sup>

[Mama Oak]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][bg=332E2E] Redfang’s hearty purr deepened at Sweetleaf’s enthusiasm, his eyes sliding closed as he absorbed the half-second where her purr met and entangled with his own; lending a lark-like warble to his velvety tones. After shaking out his ginger fur one last time, the WindClan warrior fell beside the calico medicine cat, pawsteps finding an effortless sync with hers. But as soon as their pelts brushed past the thick gorse on either side of the camp entrance, Sweetleaf’s buoyant walk became a full-on sprint, leaving Redfang staring after her for a moment. His hazel pools followed the pretty femme as she raced away, and then a wondrous smile erupted across his features as he followed in a slower pursuit. It had definitely been awhile since he had ”let himself go” and run, just for the simple, cleansing sake of running. The smile across his muzzle remained fixed as his long, flowing stride ate up the moor; each time a paw struck the earth, a little piece of his internal being growing just the tiniest bit more relaxed. Though the wind felt sensational as it combed caressing fingers through his pelt, he was uncomfortably aware that the air had grown heavy and the sky was crowding with fat, dark clouds. As brilliant, white luminance seared through the ominous black and an ear-splitting roar of thunder tore through the atmosphere, Redfang’s eyes fell from the sky and found the medicine cat. Quite a stretch ahead of him, he watched as she froze, screamed and pressed herself as close to the earth as she could. Feeling a stab of concern, he quickened his pace and continued toward her, his broad smile falling into a thin line of solicitude. Just as he was coming up on her though, jaws parting to call out her name, the delicate medicine cat abruptly spun around and sprinted directly toward him. His heels digging into the earth as he tried to stop himself, the only thing Redfang saw before the two cats collided, was the glassy gathering of tears that brimmed at Sweetleaf’s large, cerulean-colored eyes. Her body slammed into his, but as he had anticipated such, the tall tom had braced himself and managed to stay on his paws. The thin she-cat fell before him and remained there, her chest heaving with exhales and inhales of hungry gasps. When Sweetleaf finally rose, Redfang allowed a genial smile to once more take up on his square jaw. Although she seemed dizzy and unable to get to her paws, the medicine cat seemed relatively unhurt — or at least, so far as he could tell. ”I don’t think so, Sweetie,” he purred with amusement at her odd inquiry, ”If this were a dream, I believe your companion would be significantly more charming,” he chuckled and moved forward to gingerly help her to paws. ”And... ah, probably... not have just bowled you over. Are you okay?” Fat drops of rain were now falling consistently, one of them striking Redfang’s cheek and rolling down his face like a tear. ”I wonder who would take care of the you, if you hurt yourself?” Words: 523 Tagged: Sweetleaf/El Splasho Status: Private Muse: I don't even ._. Notes: Oh good StarClan, I'm sorry that was bad. D: Background Music/Listening To:

[splashtana ★]

SWEETLEAF -- MEDICINE CAT -- WINDCLAN

---

Feeling a delicate relief shoot through her like lightning at his touch, Sweetleaf allowed herself to catch her breath slowly, and let her fluffed up calico and white fur flatten to it's original, soft state of being. Allowing herself to press against his flank, the cowardly little medicine cat let out a soft giggle, followed by another, until she was pretty much flat out laughing at her own stupidity. "I feel so silly. The storm popped right out of the blue and scared me half to death," she laughed, blinking tears from her robin's egg blue eyes seeing as they were blurring her vision and just annoying her immensely, to say the least. As soon as her breathing was back to normal, Sweetleaf stepped back from Redfang just a bit, and let out a soft sneeze. The cold weather was beginning once again, and seeing as she is the petite little thing she is, the cold temperatures pierce right through her fur and freeze her right down to the bone.

Soon after she let out the pathetic little sneeze, she trained her robin's egg blue gaze back on Redfang as soon as the question came out of his mouth. Well, who would treat her if she got sick? The natural answer would be Flickerpaw, her apprentice, simply because Flickerpaw was trained in medicine. But she couldn't resist the words that flew out of her parted jaws almost immediately. "I could teach you how to care for me," the medicine cat whispered, looking up into the tom's eyes, hope dancing around in the deep pools she called her optics.

[Mama Oak]

Redfang's breath slipped from his lips in an audible exhale of amusement, accented with the faint underworkings of a gentle chuckle. "Now, there's an amusing thought," was his instinctual reply, and the words came easy; an expected response, lent voice without so much as a thought. But as his pale green eyes wandered into the rich, cerulean orbs of his medicine cat, Redfang couldn't help but think about it. Sweetleaf's eyes gleamed like reflective pools and into their depths he was suddenly drawn. The tom's smile began to fall at the corners as he searched the other's gaze, an ear flicking once as he lost himself — for the briefest moments — in the proposal of her words. He imagined himself in the medicine cat den, the rich scents of various herbs wreathed around to soothe. The soft chimes of Hareleap's — no, Sweetleaf's — laughter as they shared their companionship, their words, and their comforts. The inexplicable comforts one found in nothing more than the other's presence — that warmth and contentdness one could feel, just by sharing another's thereness. Redfang had been closed off from that kind of closeness since Hareleap had died. Perhaps it would be nice... to have a friend once more. A companion instead of a clanmate. Blinking slowly, the scent of herbs faded to just the faintest lingering of flavor that stayed with the medicine cat even when she was away from her den. Redfang's smile deepened and he titled his head to the side, gaze drawing from Sweetleaf's capturing eyes to settle lightly, wonderingly, upon her angelic face. "I'd make a shoddy medicine cat, I bargain," he mused gingerly, "But how could anyone refuse an excuse to share your company?" A purr accompanied the words, and although they were spoken with the velvety tones of innocent tease, there was also genuine warmth and truth pinned beneath. Words: 314 Tagged: Sweetleaf/Splashy Status: Private Muse: Adfhkhdf Notes: D'oh, these cuties :3