Mama Oak
Site Staff
Have you come to make me a martyr?
You are my love, my angle, don't treat me like potato.
Posts: 840
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Post by Mama Oak on Sept 14, 2013 16:33:50 GMT -5
"No, no, pay attention, Ravenpaw," the edge in Elmstar's voice was a tad sharper than he had intended, as the dark tabby tom fell once more into the perfect crouch. The stance was natural to him after countless moons of hunting and tracking; his paws found their place with no thought, his legs bent and his body lowered with swift, simple grace. Flicking back his ears, he glanced at his apprentice and made sure not to only meet her eyes, but to hold them. Capturing her bright blue pools with his stern, olive-green gaze, he wouldn't release them. For the umpteenth time that morning he was going to run the steps with her, and this time it would stick.
"Keep your body low. Feel the earth against your belly fur." The command in his voice was thick but not unnecessarily harsh. Eyes still on her, he began pulling himself forward; body almost gliding as he brought one paw in front of the other in a fluid pulse. "Head down, tail down, balance is key. If you distribute your weight correctly, your pawsteps will be light and quiet. Undetected." Drawing himself up beside her, the ThunderClan leader flicked his tail to touch her flank, almost apologizing for his impatience. He really did like Ravenpaw; she was an intelligent feline who thought before she spoke and reeked with hidden potential. But the little femme just wasn't getting it down as quickly as the many apprentices he'd mentored in the past. "If you don't," his voice was softer now, offering a soothe to the earlier reprimand, though also making it clear that she... well... she wasn't, "Your lopsided stance will make your stride clumsy and loud. The only prey you'll catch will be the deaf or stupid ones." Words: 296 Tagged: Ravenpaw Status: Private Muse: Decent Notes: Let me know if this is okay.
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Post by ~XxSnakethxX~ on Sept 14, 2013 16:50:53 GMT -5
Ravenpaw flatted her ears when Elmstar sharply scolded her, telling her to pay attention.The timid apprentice shook in fear of this big and powerful cat in front of her. He gave her the instructions once more, for what seemed to be the millionth time that morning, and he gently touched her flank. A soft comment took the sting out of his previous words, and the blue pools of fright which the leader's eyes were locked on wavered for only a second before the black-and-white apprentice nodded fervently, determined to get it right. First, she lowered her body and tried harder than ever to distribute her weight evenly on all four paws. She felt the ground just barely beneath her belly fur, which was quite short. Head down, tail down and straight behind her as to not brush any fallen leaves or undergrowth if she was hunting. The shaking having subsided, she placed one paw in front of her body, as light and quietly as her probably failed hunting crouch allowed. It was fairly silent, and she rested her paw carefully on the twig in front of her. It did not snap. Silently sighing in relief, she carefully took another step, and another, and then another. Her tail then decided it was done being straight and slapped against the ground. the loud sudden noise scared the poor apprentice out of her fur, and she jumped from her crouch. "I'm never going to get it right!" she wailed in frustration. Flopping to the ground and covering her face with her paws, Ravenpaw felt absolutely horrid. I can't even get a stupid hunter's crouch right, she thought bitterly, All I'm doing is wasting Elmstar's time!Words: 292 Tagged: Elmstar Status: Private Muse: Awesome Notes: yes this post is mine
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Mama Oak
Site Staff
Have you come to make me a martyr?
You are my love, my angle, don't treat me like potato.
Posts: 840
|
Post by Mama Oak on Sept 14, 2013 17:28:33 GMT -5
Elmstar observed silently as his apprentice cut with more success through the small, empty clearing around them. As always, he was keeping well-intent on Ravenpaw's movement, but also paying a wary alertness to the environment around them. The forest floor of ThunderClan territory often proved a dangerous place, hiding strange and lethal animals among the dense foliage — no cat knew that better than him. He'd lost his first two lives after being taken unaware by a small pack of predators. The agony of his opened veins, pumping away the lifeblood of two beating and dying hearts, was not easily forgotten. The huge, ugly scars had not faded. He'd also lost his fifth life after taking the strike of an adder, meant for his apprentice Tinypaw. The painful throb of venom through his veins, blazing trails of fire in every fiber of his body, was also well-remembered.
And then there had been Redstar. He had watched calmly as the leader's broken and bleeding body — condemned to the forest floor by a gentle shove of his own paw — was drug off by an ominous beast, quickly drawn by the scent of death.
The interrupting noise of Ravenpaw's broken crouch, made absurdly loud by the silent context, tugged a frown across her mentor's muzzle. But the sentiment was touched with amusement as he moved toward his apprentice. She had done well, very well, up until she had let herself go lax. The frown deepened and lost its mitigated touch however, as Ravenpaw threw herself down and began to wiggle with despair. We'll have to work on that, the leader thought to himself with an internal growl. "On your paws, Ravenpaw — you are no longer a kitten of the nursery to give up and wail." His voice was hard again, face grim. "That was much better, but you can't let the stance go. Now, again." Words: 315 Tagged: Ravenpaw Status: Private Muse: Decent Notes: I like it.
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Post by ~XxSnakethxX~ on Sept 14, 2013 17:44:19 GMT -5
Ravenpaw got up, slightly upset but mostly embarrassed. "Alright." She got into the position again, this time concentrating on keeping her tail still. Again, when she lightly and carefully stepped on the twig, it did not break. Instead, her paw pad molded to allow the twig to be beneath it. Ears flat with concentration, she focused her gaze on the dead leaf a few tail-lengths ahead of her. Resisting the urge to lash her tail, she crept closer and closer, be sure to keep the ground beneath her paws where it was. Finally gettting close enough to leap, she wriggled her haunches just a bit before pouncing.
She landed just one mouse-length short. Swiping her claws against the dead leaf, it was torn to shreds. "Did I get it right that time? Ravenpaw mewed hopefully, looking back to her mentor with obvious begging in her bright blue eyes. She wanted him to answer yes. She wanted to have done it correctly. If she had done it correctly, maybe she'd get to do some actual hunting. The leaf lay at the apprentice's paws, and it wasn't intact anymore. The claws of the black-and-white cat were sheathed right now, and she was just looking at her mentor. No movements.
She truly hoped she'd gotten it right that time.
Words: 221 Status: Private Tagged: Elmstar Muse: Decent enough Notes: er mah gerd yes
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Mama Oak
Site Staff
Have you come to make me a martyr?
You are my love, my angle, don't treat me like potato.
Posts: 840
|
Post by Mama Oak on Sept 14, 2013 20:42:40 GMT -5
Elmstar dipped his head in a subtle nod, the deep-set frown upon his white-peppered muzzle smoothing into a standard expression that offered Ravenpaw very little. "Yes, that was good. Given some practice, you'll be helping to feed ThunderClan soon enough," If his apprentice was looking for any further praise, she would be sorely disappointed. Feeding the clan was a duty not a skill and the weathered leader could not find it in himself to be overtly proud of a talent every feline was expected to learn. At the end of it, a hunter's crouch was a simple thing.
Elmstar had had a significant number of apprentices in the past, and he was well-aware how eager they had all been to please and be recognized. His first tom, Minnowpaw, had been the hungriest. Practicing alone each sun-high before their training sessions, taking extra patrols, and boasting about every single thing — no matter how small — done right. No doubt he was trying to make him proud; desperate to be an apprentice his mentor would brag about. The determined tom had wanted to be the apprentice that all warriors wished were their own, but for the six moons that Elmwhisker had trained him, his praise and recognition had been sparse. Even then, fresh from his own warrior ceremony, Elmwhisker had demanded the utmost best from his clanmates. Minnowpaw worked hard to impress his mentor, but his mentor had always required nothing less. Diligence and improvement were expectations.
Yet, there was something swimming in Ravenpaw's bright blue gaze that coaxed the corners of Elmstar's lips the tiniest fraction upward. His eyes grew less hard about the edges and he flicked an ear. "Perhaps sooner than you think," as the words trickled from his muzzle, he was almost surprised to detect a trace of fond thoughtfulness to them, expressed without bid. It seemed he was growing soft in his old age. "But a mouse is not a leaf. They will not just dart into your path as you're walking through the forest. Before you catch them, you must first find them. Tell me, what scents can you pick out?" His jaws parted as he waited, drawing in the different scents about the two felines and wondering which and how many Ravenpaw would note. Words: 328 Tagged: Ravenpaw Status: Private Muse: A little less than decent, as you could probably discern from the quality. xD Notes: So, yeah, sorry about the crumminess.
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Post by ~XxSnakethxX~ on Sept 15, 2013 5:43:11 GMT -5
Ravenpaw listened well, and opened her mouth to drink in the scents of the forest. There were the two scents of Ravenpaw and Elmstar, but beneath that, the scent of squirrel, and the scent of mouse. "Mouse," she breathed, making the word just loud enough for her mentor to pick up. It was fairly close, and the apprentice didn't want to scare off prey that would feed the Clan. Especially since Ravenpaw hadn't caught anything yet.
Almost without thinking, she dropped into a hunter's crouch, taking a moment to get her weight distributed evenly before carefully, carefully, beginning to stalk towards to the scent of the mouse. A few moments passed before she could seen the mouse. It was a fairly plump mouse, and it would feed two warriors. Suddenly, she remembered something from the warriors talking about how their prey smelled them coming because they were upwind and not downwind. Ravenpaw checked the air current.
Thankfully, she was already downwind. Carefully stalking forward once more, she was finally within leaping range to catch the mouse. Gathering power in her haunches, she leaped, landing right on top of the mouse. She killed it with a swift bite to the neck, before it could squeak. Picking up her kill, she looked around for Elmstar. Ravenpaw already knew she did something wrong, but she wanted to know what she'd done wrong.
Words: Tagged: Elmstar Status: Private Muse: A little less than decent Notes: Your post was awesome. I made this one at like 6:00 AM Eastern Time, so. Also, you can be creative on what she did wrong. Lol, I'm sitting at my computer thinking "Elmstar's gonna be like "You're lucky you caught that mouse you were all lopsided and making noise and stuff it must be deaf or something." XD
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Mama Oak
Site Staff
Have you come to make me a martyr?
You are my love, my angle, don't treat me like potato.
Posts: 840
|
Post by Mama Oak on Sept 21, 2013 16:38:39 GMT -5
As Elmstar drew in the forest around them, he was faintly surprised to immediately detect the strong scent of fresh mouse. How silly could the creature be, to scurry so close to a training session? Not only had they spoken openly and unquietly, but the small clearing was marked well by all the past trainings between ThunderClan mentor and apprentice. Kestrelflight and his apprentice Shadepaw, Lizardstripe and Yarrowpaw, Tinycrow and Shrewpaw; their lingering traces were there, not terribly faint at all. Either the silly mouse had a death-wish and wanted to be caught, was fearless and bold, or complete and totally brainless. Since Elmstar considered the lesser prey creatures to be rather detached from any other influence than instinct and fear, he suspected the latter.
But the stupid mouse was convenient, he thought with amusement as Ravenpaw named the scent just above her breath. His dark brown ears, tufted with the white hairs of many seasons, swiveled forward and his eyes fixed encouragingly upon the apprentice. Now he could accurately asses just how much of his lessons were truly getting through to her; how much she was actually retaining and how well she could utilize verbal instruction.
She fell into the stance almost fluidly, and Elmstar instantly knew she hadn’t given the movement a single thought; which only meant the crouch was already becoming natural. Good. After shifting on her paws, the black-and-white she-cat began to slink toward her targeted prey. And although her movements weren’t exactly balanced, the small teetering was subtle and of no consequence; she would become perfectly nimble quickly, he didn’t doubt.
She paused a small distance from the mouse and still the asinine thing hadn’t noted her being there. It was good fortune it was upwind from them, certainly, but with all the scents of ThunderClan about the clearing (fresh and faint alike), Elmstar figured it would be especially wary. It obviously had little sense at all... perhaps deserved to be picked off by a painfully green apprentice.
Ravenpaw leaped and killed. In a single instance the mouse’s folly had become its death. As she looked to him with the prey in her jaws, he swept himself to his paws and moved toward her with the beginning of a small grin. ”Very nice, Ravenpaw — your first catch and so early. The mouse was upwind, good — always approach downwind from your prey. And you must always remember... remember that...” his velvety voice, laced with subtle tones of congratulation, fell away and his pawsteps ceased. Eyes abruptly narrowed, every fiber of Elmstar’s being was suddenly alert as his eyes darted to the brush surrounding the clearing and he signaled with his tail for Ravenpaw to be silent. He hadn’t brought his apprentice to the borders yet, but he wondered if she would be able to pick out the otherclan-ly scent.
The leader’s dark fur bristled with the beginnings of crackling electricity as he brought his narrowed gaze back to Ravenpaw, the olive-green pools full of unmistakable disdain. It seemed that the little, dead mouse wasn’t the only one foolish enough to wander into territory clearly marked as ThunderClan’s. ”Ravenpaw,” like hers before, his voice was only just loud enough to be heard, and spoken with a tone that held a trace of barely-concealed darkness. Enough to warn off any other clan trespassers. ”What else can you scent?” Words: 562 Tagged: Ravenpaw/Snakey Status: Private Muse: Eh. Notes: I thought we could try and make it a bit interesting by bringing in different clan cat? It could just be a wandering, oblivious kit or something. Or maybe another apprentice who was injured near the border and came to them for help? I don't know... anything! I can always modify and cut that part out, too, if you'd rather not try this angle at all.
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