Post by Kyran on Sept 28, 2013 14:03:51 GMT -5
'Ash' for pelt color
'Rain' for being born in and loving rain,
but also symbolism for his sadness
Ashrain | Riverclan | Deputy | 45 Moons | Tomcat
Physical Strength: 3/5
Mental Strength: 5/5
Strength: 3.5/5
Stamina: 5/5
Strengths
- Exceptional Stamina
- Intelligence
- Flexibility
Weaknesses
- Physical Strength
- Overanalysis of situations
- Wandering of thoughts
Severity and Breakdown of Adaptations [Level 1]
- Second pair of transparent eyelids
- Expanded lung capacity
- Sleek, waterproof fur
- Webbed paws
Most of Ashrain's pelt seems as if his fur is meant to be a tan-ish brown, but has soot smothered into it everywhere. His ears are probably the darkest colored part of his body, along with the very tip of his tail. The tomcat's frame is rather large, but slim, with clearly defined muscles that aren't disgustingly huge. The unusual part about Ashrain is that, despite being large, things like his whiskers seem just average length. Not seeming disproportional when you see him, but if you were to measure him, he most likely would be just that.
Finally, Ashrain's eyes are a sparkling blue. Cerulean, to be more specific. He inherited them from his mother, but specks of the teal from his father's eyes are dotted in them at times. In the end, although you wouldn't expect it from this description, this warrior is one handsome tom.
Throughout his short, but amazingly eventful life, Ashrain has gone through a number of life changing events that have severely altered his personality. Though he has always been a relatively serious cat, a number of losses he's suffered has only served to intensify his already serious nature. A once fairly well adjusted kit was turned into a broody and dark tom.
Personality
Ashrain is an interesting case. Before things in his life went sour, he had built up a fairly nice life for himself, good friends, people he could (for the most part, usually) trust. Even his own father reluctantly accepted what he was doing with his life. He was never the most open person, but he was friendly and likable enough that he was able to have what most clan cats want from life. Because of his good standing before the death of several friends and family members, when Ash finally had enough later in life, there would still be people that tried to help him out.
However, now, Ashrain has a tendency to push those friends away from him. After an epiphany that led him to a realization that made him sound slightly less than sane, several of his friends reached out to him, wanting him to seek help. The lack of trust in him, and insistence from clanmates that he's insane has caused him to shut himself off from most of his former friends. He doesn’t look for their help, he doesn’t actually 'take a rain check', and in general during his meetings with them he acts in a cold and aloof manner.
Besides distancing himself from old friends, the warrior tends to avoid making new ones as well. Though it’s partly due to his current busy lifestyle, it doesn’t change the fact that it's been awhile since he had a real heart to heart with another cat.
Even though there are several negative things that can be said about Ashrain’s attitude, deep down he’s still a good person. He still cares what happens to the innocent, and isn't the kind of person who will stand by and watch someone be hurt or killed. He’s still strongly opposed to killing, even those who most would think deserve it. Still, Ash’s strong moral compass has taken a fairly heavy beating over the years. Though it is still unwavering in many important ways, he’s recently crossed several lines he would never before consider toeing. His current obsessions have put him into gray areas and dangerous territory that before was wholly unfamiliar to him.
Besides this, Ashrain is smart. He's ridiculously smart in a wide variety of ways. He’s always been a good leader and strategist, and has proven himself an asset through sheer intelligence alone (though being very athletic has never hurt him).
Ashrain also has an overabundance of guilt, stemming from his strong sense of responsibility. Even if many of the horrible occurrences of his life were out of his control, he seems more than willing to take on the blame if he feels he could have changed the outcome in any way. He puts a lot of faith in his own abilities, and when he feels he failed himself and others in any way, Ash is ready to take fault in an instant. He has a tendency to try and carry the weight of the whole clan on his shoulders, whether he feels he has people to help him alleviate the burden or not.
History
A well-respected warrior, Cloudfur could never stay down in one place for long lengths of time. He always needed to be moving around. Sitting in one place, well, it didn't sit right with him. Whether it was patrol, training an apprentice, or simply helping another cat, he was always out of camp. Sometimes he didn't even sleep in the Warriors' Den. He did, however, stick around camp long enough to meet a young she-cat named Blueshade, who would later become his mate. The couple became a strong team when it came down to hunting and fighting. They were almost always together after having met each other.
As time passed, Blueshade gave birth to the couple's first and only son, Ashkit. Although the two warriors loved their son, clan duties always seemed to take a higher priority. Ashkit was often left behind in the nursery with a queen, to be taken care of while both his parents went off serving the clan and doing what they thought was "right". Blueshade hardly noticed that her son was growing closer to other mothers while she performed clan duties alongside her mate. The two parents visited Ashkit in the nursery, but it never seemed as though they were a real family, despite the love that the warriors felt for their son.
As Cloudfur and Blueshade continued doing whatever it was they did all day, Ashkit began to follow the lives of the leader and deputy of the clan. He always asked the queens what was going on in the clan and if there was anything exciting or any clan rivalries brewing. They always laughed a little and told him what they knew. As such, Ashkit was aware of Frigidstar being leader and having his deputy. When the deputy was later murdered, Ashkit grew concerned that Frigidstar might slowly grow depressed due to the absence of his deputy.
The queens has told him plenty of stories before (since he was so interested in hearing them) about past leaders and how when their deputies died, they were just about heartbroken, shattered to pieces. They couldn't even pull it together enough to lead the clan, and they were soon replaced when death from the effects of their depression swept them up to Starclan. It was a little terrifying actually, to think that the death of a best friend could slowly eat away and kill you too. Needless to say, Ashkit feared that one day it might happen to him as well. Not as a leader, but just as a warrior.
The relationship between Cloudfur and Blueshade began to sour at this point. During a journey to the Moonstone, the couple was surrounded and almost killed by a few hostile rogues. They fought the loners, but at one point, gave in. Later, however, they came up with a plan to escape, and escape they did, but they were left traumatized from the experience. Unfortunately, on their way back to Riverclan, the two warriors drank from a puddle of bacteria-infested water. Too much for their own good. Blueshade died instantly, while Cloudfur was left very weak.
A group of warriors came from Riverclan in search of the two cats, who had been gone for days. They found the bodies of both of Ashkit's parents. Cloudfur had passed out from weakness, but he was still alive, so they brought him back to camp and the medicine cat cared for him, helping him regain his strength. A warrior came to the nursery to deliver the news to Ashkit, and although he had never spent a lot of time with his parents, the little tom was horrified to hear what had happened to his beloved mother. Honestly, he wasn't sure what to think or what to do. He'd never really known her. Still though, he went to her vigil, but didn't say a word.
Some moons after his return, Cloudfur regained his strength, but was unable to continue being a warrior. The death of his mate had scarred him, and he grew too mopey and cloudy-eyed to be able to do anything but just sit and stare at the stars. Nothing could fix him. Whether it was a good old-fashioned lecture, yelling, or kind, encouraging words, he was broken. Not all was bad news for Ashkit's father however. The loss of his mate led Cloudfur to desire to reconnect with Ashpaw, who by now had become an apprentice.
Ashpaw, actually, had become the medicine cat apprentice. He desired nothing more in life than to heal. The way his parents simply abandoned him (or that's how it seemed in his eyes) to go practice their fighting and hunting skills had led him to express a lack of interest and a distaste for such duties; And it had, quite honestly, made his heart ache. Ashrain's duties as the medicine apprentice and his close relationship with the medicine cat caused a greater rift with his father, although they did attempt to reconcile.
In time, Cloudfur picked up the pieces of his heart with the help of a she-warrior named Morningsong who came to the Elders' Den often to visit him. They'd been in a mentor/apprentice relationship just moons before. Although Morningsong was considerably younger than Cloudfur, the two immediately felt an attraction for one another and began courting. Morningsong's involvement in the family's life was a blessing, as she was able to curb Cloudfur's anger at his son being so distant and she helped Ashpaw feel more connected to his father. In a short time, Cloudfur and Morningsong became mates.
Soon afterward, however, Morningsong was severely wounded when her patrol found a badger and were forced to fight it. The young female spent moons in the Medicine Cat's Den, needing therapy for a broken leg. Ashpaw saw her often, but his father wasn't allowed to visit her just yet. Cloudfur fell into a deep depression, during which he began thinking more and more about his deceased mate, Blueshade. He eventually recovered though, when his new mate was finally released from the Medicine Cat's Den but now sat with him in the Elders' Den. Her life had been ruined at such a young age, but she didn't mind as long as Cloudfur and herself stayed together.
Upon learning that Ashpaw had taken up the life of a medicine cat (he honestly hadn't been paying any attention before), Cloudfur was outraged and hurt by his son keeping this new from him. Cloudfur had always dreamed that his son would become a well-respected warrior that he could be proud of, but those dreams had now been crushed. Ashpaw didn't seem to have the structure of a warrior and he lacked the interest to be one as well.
Not wishing to cause his father any more pain, however, Ashpaw agreed that in exchange for his father's silence, he would give up the life of a medicine cat and become a regular apprentice; Even if he clearly wished to remain with his current life. But this solution was short lived due to a fight that erupted between Thunderclan and Riverclan over the long fought-over Sunningrocks. Many warriors were wounded in the battles over the territory and the medicine cat couldn't handle all the injuries alone.
Ashpaw felt he had no alternative and returned to his life as a medicine cat apprentice. Although Cloudfur disapproved, he realized that his son was too important to Riverclan as the medicine cat apprentice, and reluctantly allowed his son to continue with his duties.
Even after he received his father's acceptance of what he was doing with his life, Ashpaw still felt awful -- Awful about how he was letting his parents down. Even his late mother had dearly wished for him to become a glorious warrior that would serve the clan in desperate times. For days he thought this all through and came to a decision. He would return to regular apprentice training, as much as he hated it. The other apprentices made fun of him for being behind a couple moons, but that only made him work harder and he ignored their teasing.
At times, he questioned his choice.
Then he saw the proud gleam in his father's eyes.
It made those notions disappear as quickly as they'd come. That pride, that joy in Cloudfur's blue eyes was all Ashpaw needed to be reassured. This... This was for the best.
As always though, everything didn't stay perfect for long. Cloudfur died as leafbare swept over the clans. His aging, vulnerable body contracted blackcough. It was a chest infection that the clan hadn't seen in many moons and he lost the fight against it.
Cloudfur died.
Following his father's death, Ashpaw mourned painfully and became more dark and brooding. Morningsong, also grief-stricken, began to spend her days with the medicine cat for psychological treatment. Even though it wasn't really something the clan's practiced, Morningsong was truly shattered and needed constant care. She had to be kept under watch and fed gentle, kind words all the time. She grew thin terribly quickly without the medicine cat regulating her diet. Ashpaw himself sometimes came in to see Morningsong, to help her, but she was past the point where she would listen to him. The poor she-cat took one look at him and began to moan in sorrow about how much he reminded her of Cloudfur. In truth, it was better for her if Ashpaw stayed away.
As Ashpaw grew older, he began to train even harder not only so that he could catch up to all his friends and become a warrior at the same time as them, but so that he could make his father proud up in Starclan. His best friend, Sedgepaw, and his close (female) friend, Stormpaw, assisted him with this by helping him perfect his techniques after training sessions with his mentor. Ashpaw quickly improved and became a warrior only a moon after the rest of his friends.
As Ashrain began to take on warrior duties, he found himself falling in love with the gorgeous Stormfeather. She was everything needed to keep him balanced out. She was sunny, optimistic, but could be oddly sarcastic. She seemed to enjoy his company too, and they began to spend lots of time together. Sedgewhisker came along with them as well and they were a trio as always. For once, Ashrain found himself feeling... happy. He wasn't surrounded by the usual drama of his father's life and the pressures being put on him to become a warrior.
He was a warrior and was finally free to have his own life.
One night, Stormfeather called him to the river after the evening patrol and he, delighted that she was calling to him (unlike the usual where he invited her places), went. When he arrived, the tomcat's tail lashed with excitement and he padded straight up to Stormfeather. But something seemed terribly wrong about his dear 'friend'. She wasn't her usual bouncy self. Reluctantly, he asked her what was going on, knowing he wouldn't like the answer. Her only reply?
"I'm... a queen."
For a moment, his face wrinkled in confusion. He couldn't process the words. When they finally registered in his head, he fell apart.
She... She has a mate?
The very thought had his head spinning. It seemed she was almost as unhappy as he was. Ashrain felt... betrayed, to say the least. He asked her what she meant by such words. She told him they were the kits of a rogue. She'd fallen in love with a loner, of all the cats to pick from. The betrayal was magnified tenfold. Stormfeather began to lean on him, saying she needed him, but he could no longer trust her and without a word, he left her by the river and ran back to camp.
Not only had she betrayed him, but she betrayed the clan. Then she expected him to sympathize with her? No chance. She had earned herself a one-way ticket out of his life. Forever. After that night, he never saw her again. He assumed that she ran away from the clans.
Not knowing what else to do, Ashrain confided in Sedgewhisker, who was more than shocked to hear this news. The two best friends became closer than ever, almost like brothers. Ashrain honestly had no one else to go to. Morningsong was psychotic, his parents were dead (not like they would have cared anyway, but...) and the rest of his friends just wouldn't understand.
Moons passed, seasons passed, and Ashrain began put his life together again. He moved on and just when he left his guard down for a little while, tragedy wormed its way into his life again.
A fox. Of all things, a fox was what smashed him. A fox threatened the clan. Sedgewhisker and the clan deputy were on a patrol with a couple others. They fought. Sedgewhisker was deeply wounded on his flank. The fox was driven off. The rest of the patrol seemed fine other than some scratches and a couple bites. Herbs were low and Sedgewhisker's wounded became infected. He died shortly afterward. Ashrain mourned his best friend's death like no other. Not even his father's death had hurt this much.
A few moons later, Riverclan's new leader, Lionstar, needed to choose a deputy. That deputy ended up being Ashrain. The tom really hadn't ever expected to get the position, especially because there were warriors much more experienced and senior to him, but nonetheless, it was him. He was deputy. Life seemed to get a little better after he became deputy, but in his spare time, all he could do was think about everything in his life -- If he could ever truly be happy without it being ruined.
"Unlike the rest of the warriors in the forest, my mother was slightly religious and my father not at all. So when she died and my father was broken, I didn't have very much to turn to. Everyone in the clan always spoke so highly of Starclan and I never quite understood it. By the time my father died and Stormfeather left, all I had left to turn to was anger. It was easier than believing in the Starclan who had let that happen. But anger solved little so I just... I prayed. And I waited, and I waited. And I heard only silence. So I decided to confess my sins. Maybe then they would listen. But I realized I had none. How could someone who tried so hard to be good -- tried so hard to please so many-- be asked to endure so much?"
Display Name Color: #557fc4
Avatar (URL): phototricks.ru/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/8097541_84c2c49d24_o.jpg
I was hoping someone could make an avatar for me with that picture?
Personal Text: Don't mind me, I'm just the Deputy.
Signature Image and/or Text: --
Password Phrase: *swiped by Oakey*
