Pull The Curtain [Trix]

[Mama Oak]

A thin, dark-furred tabby pulled himself into the wide space where jungle met sky, gently lowering the prey clamped in his jaws to the thick, broad leaf beneath his paws. The first rays of sunlight peeked meekly from the horizon, leeching a salmon-pink color into the previous pre-dawn blue. Raising his ash-peppered chin to the beautiful sea of clashing color, Elmstar lowered his haunches and wrapped a long, tawny-banded tail neatly around his small, slender paws. The faint tremolo of an awakening songbird carried in the wind, but its tune was faint and far-away, then disappeared completely as the creature darted back beneath the Treetops. Flicking a nicked, white-tufted ear, the ThunderClan leader acknowledged the subtle sound of a gentle breeze rustling through the leaves. The branches were still full and thriving, but signs of leaf-fall were fast approaching, filling the tom — as well as his clan — with a muted sense of dread. Greenleaf was at its end. Like the day currently beating back the night, leaf-fall was there; its bitter promise of cold already cloaking the thriving season of warmth. What followed would be Elmstar's end, he did not delude himself otherwise. Leafbare always brought with its frigid presence a lethal sickness that had — in the past — laid waste to the lives of his brother, his sister, his father, and his son, as well as claimed four of his own. Suppressing a chill, Elmstar tried to shake the thoughts away. Four times he had awoken in the feverish nightmare of greencough, only to die once more. Four times he had writhed in that terrible, insurmountable pain. Eight times he had walked with StarClan, and eight times they had sent him back. There would be no coming back this leaf-bare. The next time his body shuddered and choked out its dying breath would be the last. The thought contorted Elmstar's face into a slight grimace; the corners of his lips pulling into a small frown. Lifting his muzzle upward, he managed to find the very few stars that remained in the gradually-brightening sky. I'll be among them soon, he thought silently, thinking of the cats whom had already left him behind. Goldenflower, the sister who had simply lain down and refused to eat; willfully letting herself deteriorate away little by little until StarClan exercised their mercy. His other littermates, whom he had hardly made the effort to know. The mother and father whose deaths had not shaken him. His gentle, competent mentor, Featherstep. His son and apprentice, Cerisepaw. And then there would be Redstar, restored to the strength and sanity he had lost in life, waiting for his murderer with the accusing eyes of a betrayed friend. Dipping his head to the last remaining star before the sunrise winked out its brilliance, Elmstar dropped his gaze back to the horizon and breathed in a long, refreshing inhale. The day's start was only slightly chilly, not even severe enough to nip beneath his thin, umber-streaked pelt. Surely when the sun fully arose, it'd shower the forest with warmth and light; dappling ThunderClan with the last, pleasant wisps of greenleaf. He knew he should be getting back to camp to bring the clan his dawn catch, but the tall tom remained unmoving, olive-green orbs drinking in the glorious display of pink and orange with mounting appreciation, waiting for the morning's full splendor; waiting for it to banish the inky blackness of a very long night. Words: 577 Tagged: Flowerfur/Trixie Muse: Sasdfjkhka. Notes: Hope this works okay!

[Petrichor]

Flowerfur couldn't help but enjoy the sunrise. As an apprentice, she had loathed the rising of the sun, and with it, the responsibilities of a Clan cat. She had grown to love the responsibilities, and with it, the beauty of the sunrise. It was why she was often up and around as the sun just peaked over the horizon, going for a morning run before coming back and attending patrols... or giving them, lately. Sometimes the fact that she was deputy, and all that meant, slipped her mind. She supposed, subconsciously, Flowerfur had just mentally shelved her new responsibilities as just that. After all, she wasn't leader. Not yet. The thought still scared her. Flowerfur caught a scent on the branches, and turned to see Elmstar sitting and watching the sunrise, sitting still and looking rather serene. Flowerfur couldn't help but flinch a little when she remembered the last time she and the ThunderClan leader had met outside of camp together, but she didn't want to avoid him, and she was going to find out his secret if it killed her. Flowerfur waited a few moments for the fog to leave her leader's eyes -- he was certainly thinking deeply about something, and Flowerfur almost felt kind of bad interrupting his thoughts, but she still felt as if it would be rude to pass right by him, and she felt as if she needed to speak with him anyway, and Flowerfur tended to follow her gut. The brown tabby dropped down from an upper branch next to the ThunderClan leader, taking a moment to catch his eye before turning to face the sunset. "It's a nice day," Flowerfur smiled almost remorsefully. The orange-red on the trees was absolutely beautiful to Flowerfur, but to Elmstar, they probably looked terrifying -- she remembered several rather gruesome deaths of Elmstar that almost always happened around leafbare. Flowerfur honestly wasn't looking forward to it herself. "Hopefully a freak storm won't show up again, right, Elmstar?" Tagged: Elmstar / Oakey Status: xxx Muse: xxx Notes: xxx

[Mama Oak]

"It's a nice day." Elmstar's gaze flickered darkly at the words — despite how pleasant and commonplace they were, the four simple syllables coaxed forward a tickle of strange familiarity. His brow twitched with uncertainty and a sudden sense of dread tugged ominously at the pit of his stomach. Then all at once it clicked and his eyes widened incredulously. Impossible. Elmstar turned toward the voice, simultaneously struck by a bough of fearful confusion. "It's a nice day," Redstar had mewed, his voice throbbing with the safe oblivion of a broken and completely vacant mind. It had been so easy to find him, Elmstar remembered, alone in the forest, basking in the warmth of a greenleaf sun. In those last few, convoluted moons of his failing life, the ThunderClan leader had been absolutely radiant with kittish youth. Sense and wit abandoned, his mind competely fled him, all that remained to his best friend was innocent ignorance. Elmwhisker had turned to him, a determined resolve swimming in his olive-green eyes (where, perhaps, there should have been sadness or uncertainty), and outstretched his neck to gingerly rasp a tongue against the vibrant red fur of Redstar's bony shoulder. "Yes, Redstar, a very nice day," he had agreed softly, before offering his friend a final, comforting smile and rising up — with such unwavering grace — upon his haunches, planting both his front paws against Redstar's side, and dealing that sharp, lethal shove. Redstar had stumbled backward, dull claws unable to sink into the limb beneath him. He never screamed. Suddenly it was Elmstar falling, body twisting and turning, fighting to find purchase on a tree limb, a broad leaf, a thick vine, anything. But his thrashing paws and reaching tail only found air and the ground yawned eagerly beneath, rushing up to embrace him. A single moment before his body broke itself upon the forest floor, however, a voice tore through his mind. His eyes snapped open and Redstar was before him, that last look of confused wonderment fixed expectantly upon him. "Hopefully a freak storm won't show up again, right, Elmstar?" Elmstar blinked dumbly, unable to comprehend such an inquiry as the ginger-red fur of Redstar transformed into the tawny, umber-streaked pelt of his deputy, Flowerfur. He was still perched safely on the broad leaf, rigid and tense but whole and unmoved. His ebony claws had unsheathed and buried themselves into the leaf's thick, supportive surface, but as sense and logic quickly beat back shock and stupidity, he slowly slid them in their place. Blinking quickly a few more times, Elmstar tried to clear the vision from his mind, not quite willing to wonder what had just overcome him. Quickly switching his gaze back to the sunset, eyes darting feverishly over the bloody colors, the unsettled tabby pieced himself back together as elegantly as he could manage. He allowed the tautness in his muscles free and his body to relax, lowering into a half-crouch and nodding almost absently. "Yes, we can only hope to be so fortunate," he mewed, attempting (almost successfully) to dress the reply with good humor. He gave Flowerfur a side-long glance before smiling an amused (and somewhat genuine) grin. "If StarClan fated us for another cold, cramped sheltering in a musty tree hollow, I would begin to suspect they bear one of us ill-will." Redstar's bewildered eyes still lingered accusingly in the back of Elmstar's mind, rendering his small chuckle only half as convincing as he would have liked. After a brief moment of silence, he turned from the horizon and faced the brown tabby she-cat. "I trust your duties have been treating you well, Flowerfur?" Words: 609 Tagged: Flowerfur/Trixie Status: Private Muse: I don't even know. Notes: Sorry this post is so yuck. Totally just imagined Elmstar becoming haunted by what he did to Redstar. o_o Perhaps because he's getting old and on his last life. Because he knows he'll have to face what he's done. A very random thought/idea that popped up and ended up writing itself into this post. Hope that's okay. Lyrical Thought: Pull The Curtain — Sum 41 The one and only day has come I pay for all the bad things I've done Something's wrong because I Find the glamour in the dark side, In the dark side Cheap regrets, can't forget Falling victim to the debts still Unpaid in my mind

[Petrichor]

Out of all the things she had expected today, watching her leader stiffen in fear and fly a thousand miles away was not one of them. Flowerfur had sat back in surprise upon watching her leader grab the branch as if he was in danger of falling out of it, and his eyes darted about as if he was watching something terrible... but there was nothing there. Flowerfur was about to ask Elmstar if he was alright when he suddenly snapped himself out of it. She relaxed herself as Elmstar unconvincingly tried to reassure her that he was alright, his usual humor seeming exhausted, as if he'd suddenly been shoved into and out of a battle. Flowerfur didn't dare pity the ThunderClan leader, but she couldn't help but wonder what vision would have incapacitated him. Wait. Flowerfur was the deputy. Wasn't it her job to ask questions about things that might concern her leader or her Clan's safety? After all, a leader having visions about a threat to their Clan wasn't unheard of... Not that she would be unkind. The last thing on her mind was to verbally shove her leader into a pit. And he had asked her a question, after all. "My responsibilities going well -- no cat is being particularly cold or unhelpful -- but... I have to ask... Are you alright? To speak honestly, you look like you've seen a ghost." Tagged: Elmstar / Oakey Status: xxx Muse: xxx Notes: xxx

[Mama Oak]

It did not surprise him that Flowerfur had noted his momentary upset, and surprised him even less that she inquired about it — her highly-attuned perception and tasteful concerns were only two of the many virtues he had considered when choosing her to replace Quailfoot. Two of the many virtues that would make her a memorable leader once his last life was spent. Elmstar smiled sweetly at his deputy, while beneath the thin facade his stomach surged with lingering bewilderment. "Ghosts." It was an amused whisper, spoken with a certain humorous disregard, meant to convince himself more than Flowerfur. How silly, he thought to himself, though the words sounded empty and fearful, even in his own head. Searching silently now for a logical explanation to his small episode, the ThunderClan leader took a moment to recall how long ago he had found a stream to drink from, how long ago he had eaten, and how long ago he had slept — mind quickly grasping for a rational reasoning behind what he had just seen. In fact, he hadn't been sleeping well at all the past few moonhighs, and when was the last time he had drank? He'd shared a vole with Leafcloud before leaving camp, but his stomach had already been in knots and he had eaten only a modest bite, fearing he wouldn't be able to keep anything more down. There had been concern in the elder's eyes when he bid her goodbye... she had asked him if he was feeling well. Even now, the squirrel at his paws did little to stir his lacking appetite. So, there it was. He was thirsty and tired — that was all. It was not totally bizarre for hallucinations to be born from dehydration and exhaustion. But why would he see Redstar? Did his friend's murder linger that close to the forefront of his subconscious? Comforted (though weakly) by his fabricated explanations, Elmstar was able to — at least for the moment — push the strange happening from his mind. The ingenuine smile stretched upon his muzzle fell to a lax line of gentle control; empty and revealing nothing, but still a safe step away from cold and distant. Professional yet open. Guarded but not unkind; an expression quite characteristic to the ThunderClan leader. No, no ghosts. He willed his lips to part and the words to come, but a piece of him was still unsure... still a little bit shaken, despite the rational comforts. So when his maw parted, the tabby tom said no more on the subject of apparitions. "You've only just caught me in the middle of a deep thought; I apologize for my slow focus." His gaze flickered back to the sunrise, now reaching into the sky with elongated arms of brightening golds. "A nice sunrise and can make an old cat unexpectedly nostalgic." The amusement was there this time, and Elmstar flicked his ear with a reassured sense of clarity. "And it is nice to hear that things are going well, though I — of course — expected nothing otherwise." Words: 513 Tagged: Flowerfur/Trixie Status: Private Muse: Ssdkjfh. Notes: --

[Petrichor]

Elmstar's hesitation did nothing to ease Flowerfur's worries. She had used "ghost" as a metaphor, but she suddenly realized that, since her leader was, well, closely attuned with StarClan, "seeing ghosts" was a true possibility. The she-cat leaned forward to watch Elmstar think to himself and offer up an unconvincing attempt to play the event off. Wow. Elmstar was actually bad at pretending nothing was wrong for once. Whatever he was going through MUST have been bad. "Okay, Elmstar. You and I both know that what just happened was more that 'deep thought.' StarClan forbid that you actually need assistance for once, but please don't treat me like a fool. I might be able to help, Elmstar. Tell me what's wrong." Flowerfur was suspicious of Elmstar, and she knew she was getting closer to whatever dark secret he was hiding, but she didn't want her leader to suffer through it. She just wasn't that type of cat. Please trust me, her eyes spoke. I won't tell any other cat. I promise. Tagged: Elmstar / Oakey Status: xxx Muse: xxx Notes: I'm sorry my muse isn't very good right now but hey I still got a reply in how about that ha ha

[Mama Oak]

The ingenuine amusement fell from Elmstar's eyes, abruptly emptied and even a touch irritated. Gaze narrowing as he looked upon Flowerfur's face and encouraging expression, his thoughts darkened, his composure fled, and he was suddenly a different cat. The tom of tight-lipped and stony repute, known for his impenetrable composure, was — for a moment — frustrated and openly disdainful. A firm frown tugged at his muzzle and he gazed at his deputy with unbridled reproach. As perceptive as she was, Elmstar had expected her to understand when he wanted a topic left alone. Her insistent prying was a little less than endearing and he, for once, had not the care to tolerate it. "If I wanted to confide in you, Flowerfur, I would." His voice was sharp, a contrast to the guarded, lulling overtones he was oft to utilize. An even greater contrast to the soft, musing voice he had spoken with only moments ago.  His voice remained quiet and calm, far from a furious yell or reprimand, but full of turmoil and even reminiscent of a baritone hiss; softly-spoken still, as always, but not lacking in venom or strength. "I chose you as my deputy because you were best-suited to lead ThunderClan after I surrender my last breath to StarClan. Not to share with you every small thing that troubles me. Do not take me for a fool — if it were vital to the clan, if it needed to be shared with you, Flowerfur, I would share it with you." He tore his gaze of blazing champagne away, clenching his jaw and wrapping his tail around his forelegs, the tip twitching to-and-fro. Realizing that his fur had bristled, he made an effort to smooth the dark, umber strands flat once more. Another tremble of frustration shivered down his spine — he usually had such a control on himself and his reactions. In fact, he had not been so subjected to such an emotional display since Goldenflower's death... and that was many, many moons ago. And Flowerfur's inquiring was not deserving of such a backlash. What was wrong with him? Why had he been slipping so much in the past few moons? Was this how it had begun with Redstar? Would it soon be him, needing that shove from a tree branch? Deserving of that fall? The thought broke down Elmstar's frustration and replaced it with a solidified resolve, sprinkled throughout with dawning shame. If so, then Flowerfur's further probing was absolutely justified. With a sigh saddled with defeat, he dipped his head and let his eyes slide closed. "Forgive me, Flowerfur. You have every right to be concerned." Pinching his eyelids shut tighter, Elmstar tried to push the image of Redstar's trusting pools of golden-brown from his mind, where they continued to dance and accuse. "I'm not the leader I used to be, and soon I fear I'll be walking in the pawsteps of my predecessor." Turning to his deputy, he offered her his olive-green orbs. In their depths was an apology, but also the faith and trust she had asked for. She deserved to know, after all. After a long pause, he continued. "You weren't even a growing bud in the stomach of your mother, when Redstar died." His expression twinged with sadness as he smiled remorsefully. How could he expect her to understand, when she had not been there to witness what the former leader had become? What a liability and danger to ThunderClan old age had made him. How could anyone understand, that Elmwhisker had only done what he thought was best for his clan? That he did love his friend... but only loved ThunderClan more. The sadness became more prominent, and Elmstar numbed himself to the next words that came from his muzzle. He had never spoken them before. Never admitted it to anyone... not even Leafcloud, who loved him despite of who he was. Or to Quailfoot, the tom he trusted above all. "I killed him, you know." He had expected the confession to be difficult, but it slipped from his muzzle with surprising ease. Words:  683 Tagged: Trixie/Flowerfur Status: Private Muse: Asdfjhsadf Notes: I hope this is okay. I have a feeling my previous posts were boring you. xD Hopefully this will help the muse.

[Petrichor]

Flowerfur flinched slightly as her leader snapped at her, showing actual emotion. Flowerfur had hit a nerve, she knew, and she did feel guilty for making even Elmstar think of something he didn't wish to, but her fur spiked in response to his look of disapproval and his quiet tone, containing venom comparable to that in a deathberry. The deputy didn't say anything as Elmstar spoke to her -- she knew he was letting out perhaps moons of emotion that he had withheld for so long now, but her eyes narrowed with irritation that he didn't trust her enough to tell her his secret, even though he was placing ThunderClan in her claws. Did he value his Clan that little that he would place it on the shoulders of a cat who he refused to talk to? Before Flowerfur could ask any of these questions, her leader visibly centered himself. She flattened her fur as he appeared to mentally reprimand himself, but she had to repress a mewl of surprise as Elmstar apologized. Her mouth prepared a reassurance for her leader as he spoke of his predecessor... until the very last question. The confession she had been waiting for for so long... was of a murder. Of his leader. Of Redstar. Flowerfur's jaw fell open, though the reassurances within were long gone. the sadness in the air was palpable, but it didn't quite seem that Elmstar didn't regret murdering his friend in cold blood rather than he'd had to do it, like he had reprimanded a kit for playing with food. The she-cat's mind was both racing and incredibly clear in that long moment. Her leader was a murderer. She had trusted him with ThunderClan, looked up to him, and even though she knew he was hiding something, she had never believed it would be so bad. Not just any leader, but his own. Several responses fled to the tip of Flowerfur's tongue -- screaming rants of hate, tears of distrust and betrayal, and a whole bunch of other nasty things. None of these escaped Flowerfur's mouth. The deputy swallowed her rage, her hatred, and her anger. One emotion floated above all the others in Flowerfur's mind, and it was the one that escaped. Flowerfur closed her mouth and cleared her throat as her eyes began to water. Her voice full of grief and the back end of betrayal, she almost seemed like Elmstar had personally murdered her when a tear ran down her face, she opened her mouth, and whispered... "Why?" Tagged: Elmstar / Oakey Status: xxx Muse: xxx Notes: xxx

[Mama Oak]

Elmstar had not expected any certain reactiom, had not known what to expect, as he watched Flowerfur absorb the confession, her jaw parting in surpise. The ThunderClan leader searched his deputy's face for any flickering of emotion — accusation, fury, or perhaps disbelief — but whatever Flowerfur felt in that moment remained safe behind her eyes. Below her brown tabby fur, not openly scripted upon her features for him to readily discern. Composure was a notable requisite for any leader, and a skill he had possessed and honed since his moons as an apprentice. So many seasons later and the careful control was beginning to slip from him; at least now he could find it in his deputy, who would be the figurehead of ThunderClan after him. The only emotion Elmstar was certain of was the shock, given away by Flowerfur's still-parted maw. But after a long moment, her teeth clicked back together and she cleared her throat. When she spoke, it was Elmstar's turn to be surprised — grief? And were those tears gathering in her eyes? What reason did Flowerfur have to feel saddened, when she did not know Redstar. As far as Elmstar knew, his ginger-furred friend had no paw in her lineage. The only sadness that he associated with Redstar's death was the sorry state in which his friend had withered away to; the witless fool that he had become — and Flowerfur could not have known that either.  Elmstar's gaze followed the tear as it created a streak of darkened umber down her brown-furred cheek. Her single-worded whisper settled in his gut like a stone and echoed in his ears like soft, accusing sighs. He lifted his eyes to hers and for a moment did not speak, only wandered the pale depths. You would not understand, he wanted to whisper. The small smile at the corners of his lips saddened, as he wondered... if any words he could say now would justify what he had done. Part of him suspected that no matter what explanation he gave, Flowerfur would never see him now as anything but a murderous monster. "For ThunderClan." He whispered softly, wishing those two words were enough to make her see. To understand that everything Elmstar had done in his life, even that fatal shove so many moons ago, had been for his clan. All for his clan. The eight, agonizing deaths. The seasons of responsibility and weight. Always for Thunderclan. "You were not there to witness how ill he had become. How much he threatened our clan's well-being." He shook his head from side to side, slowly, his brow knitting. "Oh, everyone felt it. Everyone whispered. They all had their thoughts. The same thoughts. But it was me, only me, who could translate words into action. I made the decision no one else wanted to." Elmstar then dropped his gaze, only millimeters, to again observe the tears on his deputy's cheek. He was my friend, he wanted to say.  His next words were lighter, faraway, and still laced with a strange, peculiar sadness. "For ThunderClan." Words: 514 Tagged: Flowerfur/Trix Status: Private Muse: Adfjhkadfh Notes: None for now.

[Petrichor]

Flowerfur, suddenly embarrassed at her tear, licked it off her cheek as she watched her leader's expression grow more melancholy. There was a moment of silence, and it settled in the pit of Flowerfur's stomach like a stone. She was sitting in front of an admitted murderer... one she had trusted. But she was nothing if not able to listen. She wanted an explanation. She needed an explanation. Her leader's whisper was barely enough to hear, but she did hear it, and heard enough emotion in it to know that he was trying to tell her something, but she didn't quite understand. She couldn't quite understand. Flowerfur watched as Elmstar's speech turned from saddened, to justifying what he'd done, to regretful nostalgia, and then somewhere far away, far back before Flowerfur was born. Flowerfur had listened to the whole thing, and a few minutes passed in silence as Flowerfur rifled through her head as what to say, to think. Elmstar seems to have thought what he had done was right, but was he? He certainly seemed regretful at what he'd done, but acted as if it was necessary, like calling ShadowClan out on stealing food. Flowerfur straightened up, the tear on her cheek dried, and she looked her leader in the eyes. The eyes she thought she had knew. "Elmstar," she began. "Like you said, I wasn't there when Redstar died. I don't know what he was doing before you killed him. I wouldn't know the thoughts of ThunderClan as he spoke during his last life. You're right in that regard... but I can't say you were right in murdering him. I wasn't there to know what the others did. I wasn't there to have my own opinion of Redstar, or see the opinion of others. For all I know, you could be lying to me. For all I know, you could have simply killed him because you were that ambitious. I don't think you did. You're not that type of cat, and I do believe you think you were justified in what you did, but it would be wrong for me to simply... let you go. I will never be able to know if what you did was right. I will never be able to know if Redstar was truly as mad as you say he was. And so I shall never prove you right or wrong." The she-cat kept her tone well-centered and measured; the irony didn't escape her that she sounded like her leader. "I will not tell the Clan of what you have done. If you truly believe that your... execution... was justified, I shall let that be. I do not approve of what you have done, and I don't expect you to expect me to. In the end, your judgment is not mine to decide. In the end, only StarClan will weigh whether what you have done is the right thing or not." Flowerfur exhaled, her speech over. She wasn't to leave just yet -- she had a feeling Elmstar would have a response to this, and she was nothing if not able to listen. Tagged: Elmstar / Oakey Status: xxx Muse: xxx Notes: xxx

[Mama Oak]

As Flowerfur began, admitting that she couldn't quite understand, Elmstar felt the pang of remorse pierce his chest once more, followed by a slow, radiating chill of acceptance. After all, he hadn't expected her to. He had hoped though, albeit foolishly, for a single moment. But how could anyone truly understand? The ThunderClan leader hadn't anticipated any sort of pardon either — he had suspected, when he uttered those five small words, that his perception in the eyes of his deputy would be forever altered. His paws had been bloody for over fifty-eight moons — how could they be cleaned with one, single confession? They would never be clean, Elmstar suddenly decided, the thought spreading a strange tranquility through his body. He had damned himself when he shoved Redstar from that limb. And now, as his own death drew nearer and nearer with each leaf that shook itself loose from the tree-tops, he grew increasingly more aware that he was soon to pay for his sins. Each time he blinked open his eyes, every single morning, he would silently wonder how he was ever to make amends to the tom whose life he had stolen. When Flowerfur's speech turned to the confidentiality of his confession, he dipped his head in a deep nod. A grateful nod. At the mention of StarClan, the tabby's long, slender tail wrapped about his forelegs and he raised his chin grimly. "Yes, I expect the day will come when I must bear my... deeds... to our ancestors. To Redstar himself, even." The grizzled tom steeled his gaze, and before he could think otherwise, he plunged without pause into a matter that needed to be discussed; an obvious truth that Elmstar knew. That Flowerfur knew. That all of ThunderClan knew, but no one openly discussed. "And that day is fast-approaching, I know." Lifting his eyes to take in the browning canopy around them, Elmstar studied the shriveling leaves. Flowerfur would be leader, probably sooner than she would like, he thought to himself serenely. The thought of her taking his place upon the TwistedBough brought a soft smile to his lips. "Might you promise me, Flowerfur?" He began abruptly, gaze returning dutifully to look upon her face. The inquiry sounded nearly uncertain, but when he continued it was steady and resolved once more, though touched with detectable traces of earnest supplication. "I am an old cat. I am no longer the tom I was. If I ever..." Elmstar stopped himself, and searched his deputy's face for a long, wondering moment. Was it really fair for him to ask this of her? It was not an easy request certainly, but some part of the ThunderClan leader felt it absolutely necessary. And the same part of him also knew Flowerfur to have the good judgement and strength needed to govern her decisions, even the difficult ones. "If I do follow in Redstar's pawsteps." Another pause. How to say it? "Flowerfur, the well-being of our clan matters above all. As my deputy, I trust you to protect it from all dangers. Even if that danger is me. If I become a liability... like my predecessor..." Words: 529 Tagged: Flowerfur/Trix Status: Private Muse: Blurpity blurp Notes: Gah, hope you can tolerate this one

[Petrichor]

The deputy sat back and watched as her leader looked almost... disappointed. Had he somehow expected her to just forgive him? Just because he had admitted to what he had done? No, Elmstar wasn't that foolish. Flowerfur knew it. She noticed the gratitude at her promise not to tell the others, and she wondered if he had expected her to tell them. True, Elmstar was a murderer. True, she had trusted him. But he had kept ThunderClan in good paws for a long time, and that wasn't all going to be ruined with some thing that happened such a long time ago. But it did, didn't it? Flowerfur would never look at Elmstar the same way again. It had almost been a game, trying to uncover his secret, and now that it was in full view to her, she almost regretted chasing after it all these years. She was like a kit chasing their tail -- they never knew what to do with it after they'd caught it. As she had suspected, Elmstar began to respond, and the brown tabby braced herself for whatever was next to come. She flinched at how casually he mentioned his own death, but she had always found that slightly unnerving. However, he seemed to be more thoughtful of it as he spoke, looking at the leaves that were beginning to fall to the forest floor so far below. There were a few pauses, but Flowerfur knew the difference between thoughtful pauses and "I'm done speaking, respond if you will" pauses. So she waited. The last seven sentences left a chill in Flowerfur's spine. Had Elmstar been planning this? Had he thought of this ever since his health had begun to fail him? How long? How long had he believed that his death would be through murder and not a natural passing, as horrific as that might be? But Flowerfur knew what he wanted. He wanted revenge on himself for what he had done, but that was only part of it. He thought his words fair, and Flowerfur couldn't help but respect that. He was always honest when he didn't skirt around the truth. That sounded strange. The ThunderClan deputy knew that the time would never come for her to murder Elmstar like he had done to his predecessor, so the reassurance he needed wasn't too terribly ripped from her mouth. "Elmstar, you know as well as I that you will not go that way. But if you truly believe that you will lose your mind and thrust the Clan into danger, so be it. And if you believe that when that time comes, I will be the only cat able to stop it... able to..." Flowerfur paused. The thought of killing her leader was terrible. And how would she even go about it? She couldn't very well slaughter him, and deathberries were so painful. The only really peaceful way she could think to murder any cat would be to push them off the branch onto the forest floor. "If the time comes that you are no longer fit to reign over ThunderClan and you threaten it by continuing to live, I will k-kill you. If that time comes, which is highly unlikely, I will find you out in the forest and push you off onto the floor. I promise. I suppose I owe you that much." To any cat that was listening, they would probably think that Flowerfur was threatening Elmstar, but it was rather the opposite. She was promising to him what he wished, even though it was the last thing she would ever want to do. Thankfully, the time for that would never come. At least, she thought so. Tagged: Elmstar / Oakey Status: xxx Muse: xxx Notes: ASDFASDJL I hope this is okay. Poor Flowerfur, she has no idea.

[Mama Oak]

He couldn't help but wonder — when she did it... when she took his life for the sake of ThunderClan's well-being, how would she justify it? With a single shove, she would be a murderer, same as him. Of course, Redstar had not asked to be killed before his fateful fall, but did that make the one deed far different than the other? Would StarClan think so? Would Flowerfur, in that single moment in which she became Flowerstar over his broken and lifeless body, begin to carry the weight of her deeds in the same way that he had? Would it wear her down in the end when she was old and frail? Would his eyes haunt her in those last moons? It was almost selfish of him, to ask this of her. Even more selfish, that he felt it necessary. In the moons after he was gone, perhaps she would understand. Truly understand, in the way that no one else ever could. Maybe, moons after he took his ninth final breath and some beast drug his bleeding body away like another had Redstar's, she would know. Know what it felt like to have a cat's blood on your paws, but still feel innocent of crime. To keep that secret for so long, because surely no other soul could begin to comprehend how a murder could be done in good-intention. She would understand, then. And perhaps, as Elmstar watched on in whatever the afterlife brought him, be it the Dark Forest or StarClan, he would feel marginally more at peace. The beginning of a relieved smile pulled at the corners of his lips... perhaps one of the most genuine sentients the ThunderClan leader had ever allowed to touch his face. How entirely and utterly selfish of him. As misplaced, and maybe even morbid, as it was, Elmstar's eyes slid shut and a warm purr rose from his chest. Not often used, the deep, resonating vibrato was raspy and harsh, but that seemed entirely fitting for the ThunderClan leader. "Yes... a fall would be the quickest and most merciful." His eyes opened (their olive-colored depths almost seeming... amused...) and he let them settle upon Flowerfur's with a smile. "That was my thinking, too, those many seasons ago." We won't be so different, you and I, his eyes further implored. Although he suspected the deputy would not like to think so, taking his life for the safety of ThunderClan was no different than him taking Redstar's. "Thank you, Flowerfur. When that time comes, I will know I am leaving ThunderClan in good paws. That is all I have ever wanted." The purr persisted, and as he paused, the tabby's smile widened. "I pray StarClan judges me as fairly as they will then judge you." Words: 462 Tagged: Flowerfur/Trix Status: Private/Closed Muse: So-so Notes: Sorry this is so week. I basically rambled for a bit. But I did sort of shoot for something kind of eerie at the end. Doubt I was successful, but thought I'd let you know that that's what I was going for. xD

[Petrichor]

Flowerfur couldn't help but be uncomfortable the way her leader watched her as she finished talking. He seemed to be judging her, as if seeing if she was truly up to the task, or... how she'd react to the job. That was the closest thing Flowerfur could think of. As silence filled the air, Flowerfur turned her thoughts inward. What had she done? She had just promised to kill her leader. It wasn't threatening, but why had she done that? Could she really do it if she needed to? Would she wind up falling short at the last minute and leaving Elmstar to perish in his own right? That would probably be fitting and absolve her of guilt, but was that really what she wanted? She knew that she would have to follow through on what she'd said, but now she rather wanted to vomit. To murder one's leader... how had Elmstar dealt with the guilt all these moons? Was it only now that he looked back on his crimes and begun to regret them? She didn't doubt that to be a possibility. Flowerfur flicked an ear as she thought of something else. If she killed her leader as he had asked, would that make her the same as him? A murderer? Or would StarClan forgive her since he had asked her to? Was there really a difference? What's more, where would Elmstar go in the afterlife, StarClan or the Dark Forest? Despite all that had been revealed to her, Flowerfur found herself wishing that Elmstar would go to StarClan upon his final breath. He had led ThunderClan well and without malice or hatred. He had thought what he'd done was right. And while Flowerfur might disagree on that, would StarClan find that act enough to damn him for eternity to wander with kit murderers and cats who attempted to destroy their Clan? She wouldn't know. But she would, wouldn't she? She was deputy, after all. When Elmstar died, she would have to go commune with StarClan, and she would see if Elmstar was there. If he was, he would almost certainly give her one of her nine lives. He had been enough of a staple in her life to do that. She still didn't quite understand how Elmstar could murder his leader. How he dealt with the guilt. How he'd found the ice in his veins to do something like that. She would do the same thing he did, yes, but only because he'd asked for it. Had he not asked, she would have stuck by his side no matter what danger he thrust the Clan into. Wouldn't she? No matter. She had promised, and she would keep her promise. It was as simple as that. The here and now was the here and now, and the time did not yet call for Elmstar to die, no. She suspected he would tell her when that time came. Flowerfur withdrew from her inner monologue as Elmstar... purred. He had a smile upon his lips, the only genuine one she had ever seen. Had he been living with the guilt all these years? Had he been wanting this for so long, yet not finding a deputy who would promise to end him the way he wished? Would he wish for someone to off him as he would have lay in the den, gasping for air? The relief in the air was tangible, and it unnerved the deputy. When talking about one's murder, happiness was unnatural and wrong. Her leader opened his eyes and offered up his sentiments, looking almost amused. His appearance and his words offered up a sense of dissonance, and Flowerfur didn't like that much, either. The deputy flinched slightly as Elmstar revealed that her planned method was his, as well. He conveyed a message through his eyes, and Flowerfur translated it. We aren't so different, they spoke. Flowerfur knew he was right. And she hated it. Elmstar ended his words with gratitude, and that he hoped StarClan would judge him as fairly as she would be judged. She didn't quite understand that, either. Did that mean that he wished to be sent to StarClan, or did he wish that Flowerfur would be sent down to the Dark Forest? She honestly couldn't tell at this point. The deputy stood from her perch and tried to keep her legs from shaking. She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded at her leader, though her eyes were more disturbed than she'd liked to have shown. "Honestly, Elmstar, I'm not sure what to say. 'You're welcome' doesn't quite fit in this scenario, and I'm not quite sure what to make of the whole situation as a whole. But I suppose that can be dealt with later. Right now you're still a sane cat, and ThunderClan still needs you." Flowerfur took a deep breath. Within that breath she managed to calm herself, her pads sinking back onto the branch (had she been standing on the tips of her paws?) and her fur flattening as she rid the shivers from her voice. When she opened her eyes again, they seemed more serious than disturbed, though the latter was still there. "You know Lionstar far better than I, Elmstar. During the Gathering he bayed for our blood and in camp, I've heard much of the same; our Clan wants to retaliate for a war that hasn't happened yet. Somehow I don't doubt that there are RiverClan cats who are itching for a war as well. These are going to be some troubled moons, Elmstar, and I would ask that you maintain your health and sanity long enough to guide me through this last bit, would you?" The last sentence had a touch of humor in it, though it died slightly due to the harsh nature of the words. "ThunderClan needs both of us to survive right now. The time for the action you have requested will come, but it is not this day. I need to get back to camp; the others are probably wondering where we are." Normally Flowerfur would wait and stay for a response, but this time, she gave Elmstar a last gaze and bounded off on the branches heading for the Hometree. Perhaps some of the kits could distract her as much as she could distract them. Tagged: Elmstar / Oakey Status: xxx Muse: xxx Notes: xxx