Secrets {Ridgepaw and Snowflower}

[Deleted]

     Ridgepaw stalked into the nursery, having been told to find a way to help out there. He didn't even look at any of the tiny little kits, just headed straight for the nearesr queen, a white one with her back.to him. As he got closer he realized it was Snowflower. Avoiding a couple of young kits, he circled around to her front, keeping his head turned alightly to the left to see her better.
     "Is there anything I can help with?"  He asked in a bored voice.

[Snowflower]

Snowflower hadn't been paying much attention when someone came in. Usually it was just someone giving her freshkill and then leaving, no one really stopped to talk anymore except for her mate, Snakeheart. So to hear a voice other than her mate's was a joy, especially when she found out it was grumpy, little Ridgepaw's voice. She answered him with a happy tone, ignoring his bored one.

"Actually, yes. I'm a little lonely. Would you please stay in here with me? We can just talk, or even sit in silence if you'd like." 

[Deleted]

     He rolled his eyes behind her and sat down by her.
     "Okay, fine. How are you?"
      He asked politely, but only so he didn't get yelled at by his mentor for being grumpy with a queen.

[Snowflower]

"Oh, I'm fine Ridgepaw. How are you today?" He was polite, she noticed, but she suspected it wasn't out of respect. Not that she minded. Little Ridgepaw was always welcome in the nursery, especially since he was so young. The white queen was particularly happy that he wanted to talk, even if he was just going to be grumpy the entire time.

[Deleted]

     "Fine. I'm not training today, so I got  sent here."

[Snowflower]

Not training today? Well, that was simply strange. All apprentices trained whenever they could. "If I didn't have such young kits, I'd take you hunting." She curled her tail around her barely-1-moon-old kits. Looking at Ridgepaw, she saw that he had a tuft of fur on his head sticking up. So she did what came naturally to her -- she licked her paw and smoothed it down.

[Deleted]

He flinched but didn't move away.
"I'm not training today because my mentor got tired of me. I'd probably wear you out too."

[Snowflower]

"It takes a lot to wear me down, sweetie," Snowflower purred. She licked her paw again and smoothed his fur down again, since it didn't seem to want to stay down. "I can tell that there's something on your mind, dear. You can tell me -- what's said in the nursery stays in the nursery, after all."

[Deleted]

He ran his own paw over the stray fur uncomfortably and backed up a step. He looked at her carefully, wondering why she would ask that.
"I've just had a very stressful past few days. Duskpaw's death was hard for me and Lightpaw."

[Snowflower]

Snowflower nodded, sympathy in her eyes. "Oh, darling. You can always tell me about that, okay? I know all this has to have been hard for you and Lightpaw. I've heard that talking about it makes it easier to bear the pain." She smiled kindly and stood, touching her nose to his. "You can always tell me. I'll listen."

[Deleted]

Ridgepaw stared at the sympathetic queen as he avoided her touch. Then he settled on a blank, expressionless face.
"I killed Duskpaw."

[Snowflower]

Snowflower blinked. That was not what she expected to hear. But instead of becoming angry, the sympathy in her eyes increased. "Oh, Ridgepaw. Was it an accident, darling?" She was sure that Ridgepaw hadn't meant to kill his brother. Or maybe he did. Surely StarClan would forgive the young cat after all of this misery over Duskpaw's death?

[Deleted]

He winced at the sympathy.
"Yes. Well, no, I mean...I don't know. I knew that he would probably fall but I didn't make him fall completely over. I enjoyed the fear in his eyes. I don't know what's wrong with me."

[Snowflower]

"There's nothing wrong with you," Snowflower hissed, "and don't you ever think otherwise. You're perfect the way you are. Even if you enjoyed his fear, even if you didn't stop him from falling over, you did not make him fall." She pronounced the last 6 words with conviction and meaning. She strongly believed that young Ridgepaw was not at fault for Duskpaw's death; she was sure of it.

[Deleted]

He narrowed his eyes, slightly annoyed.
"I don't think you understand. I pushed him to the edge and let go. Some part of me knew there was no way he wouldn't fall.".