|
Post by Snowflower on Jul 8, 2014 7:31:27 GMT -5
Snowflower shook her head. "You are not at fault. I will never blame you for Duskpaw's death, even if every other cat does. There was no way he wouldn't fall, as you said. Even if you did push him to the edge, you feel regretful after his death. StarClan will forgive you, young one. And I think Duskpaw will too."
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 13:43:36 GMT -5
He huffed. "I never forgave him. I don't know why he should forgive me."
|
|
|
Post by Snowflower on Jul 8, 2014 15:16:06 GMT -5
"He would forgive you because even if you didn't forgive him, he's still your brother," Snowflower mewed gently. "If you could go back in time, would you forgive him?"
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 16:17:47 GMT -5
He looked away. "I don't know. He...he told me that it was an accident. That he tried to catch me. I think I believe him, but if I do then I killed an innocent cat. If I think he really didn't mean to let me lose half my sight, then I am a murderer who needs to leave the clan."
|
|
|
Post by Snowflower on Jul 8, 2014 21:12:15 GMT -5
"Think about it," Snowflower meowed. She pressed her nose to his cheek. "While you think about it, why don't go go get some prey for us to share?"
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 21:50:19 GMT -5
He didn't shy away from her this time but his facial expression remained flat. He nodded and left the nursery, quickly telling his mentor where he was headed and slipping out of camp. As he hunted, he replayed the memory of his discussion with Duskpaw in his mind "You don't understand. I didn't mean to let you fall. I never meant to hurt you." Duskpaw had been terrified for his life, he had seen the murderous look in his brother's eyes. He had been desperately appealing to that buried side of Ridgepaw that undertood Duskpaw's anguish over the accident. Ridgepaw caught a small bird, angrily smashing it to the ground, killing it quickly. "Then what did you mean?" Ridgepaw had been beyond persuasion, no matter what Duskpaw said next he was ready to kill. "Ever since I was a kit, I've had this weird quirk..." Ridgepaw had listened, had believed him, and it had been proven a moment later when Duskpaw had slipped, frozen, and fallen. He caught another bird, bigger. When he had been carrying his brother's broken body, he had understood completely, and he had grieved. But a he sat vigil that night, the part of him that won, that ultimately dominated Ridgepaw's mimd, had been the side thst had seen the fear in his brother's eyes and relished it. Who had wished to kill Duskpaw for moons. Who would have pushed him straight over without a word if he had not miscalculated his jump and stopped short. He returned to the nursery broken, all traces of anger gone. He sat by Snowflower, passing her the bigger bird, though neither were very large. "I don't know who I am anymore. Part of me is a cold-blooded murderer. But part of me grieved when he fell. I don't want to hurt anyone else. I'm afraid of myself."
|
|
|
Post by Snowflower on Jul 9, 2014 8:04:09 GMT -5
Snowflower sat alone until he returned. She was scared, to be honest. She'd never come across a cat whom she couldn't reassure. And yet still, even with all of Ridepaw's story pointing to him being a murderer, Snowflower didn't believe he'd intended to kill Duskpaw. Maybe one part of him did, but the other part screamed for unrational side of Ridgepaw to stop. When the young cat returned looking broken, she stood up. He sat next to her and spoke to her, and she licked the top of his head like a mother soothing a kit after a nightmare. "You won't hurt anyone else, because you don't want to. It's as simple as that. The part of you that killed Duskpaw isn't going to hurt anyone else, because the part of you that killed Duskpaw was angry with Duskpaw for a long time. The part of you that grieved when he fell is who you are. You are a kind cat who misses his brother. Do not be afraid of yourself, young one. That will only bring chaos and misery to your mind."
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2014 8:52:08 GMT -5
He looked up at her hopefully. "Do you really think that? That I won't hurt anyone else?" He smiled a little.
|
|
|
Post by Snowflower on Jul 9, 2014 22:16:07 GMT -5
"Of course I do." She smoothed the fur on his head down one last time before giving up with the stubborn tuft. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." It made her happy to see the grumpy little apprentice smile, the poor young cat had hardly ever smiled after the accident that had ruined half of his sight. "See, much better. You look so much better when you smile..."
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2014 8:15:04 GMT -5
He chuckleda little, but then frowned. "Don't I have to tell someone though? I mean, I can't just decide that it's okay and I don't need to be punished."
|
|
|
Post by Snowflower on Jul 10, 2014 9:15:13 GMT -5
Snowflower thought for a moment. "I think your grief and misery over his death is punishment enough. There is no worse punishment than guilt. A punishment like staying in camp for a moon or cleaning the elders den for a moon will never be equivalent to the kind of punishment that guilt inflicts." She licked the top of his head again. "Go on, take a bite of prey. You'll feel better with a full stomach." She, however, would not eat until sh was sure that Ridgepaw was eating.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2014 9:24:11 GMT -5
He took a few bites of the bird, though he wasn't really hungry. "I don't know what I can say to Lightpaw. I can't hide it from her forever but she probably won't be as forgiving as you when she finds out ."
|
|
|
Post by Snowflower on Jul 10, 2014 15:09:29 GMT -5
Snowflower began to eat when he did. She only took a bite or two before answering. "That's your decision, Ridgepaw. You can tell her the complete truth, or you could tell her that you accidentally startled him into falling. I can't tell you what to do."
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2014 20:17:04 GMT -5
He nodded thoughtfully. "I'll be back soon. If I don't come back, she's freaking out on me and you'll have to come rescue me." He gave her a small smile and left the nursery. He found Lightpaw in the apprentic den. "Could you come talk with me?" They left the camp, walking along the paths. "I need to tell you something. I...I killed Duskpaw." She reeled, "you what?" "I puahed him off. I held a grudge for too long over his letting me be blinded. All the pent up anger...I couldn't help myself. I killed him, there was no accident." "You know, I actually suspected something lik that at som point. You were always so horribly grumpy and angry. And after he died, something chanved. It was a different kind of anger. I honestly don't condemn you, though you should have told me so could help you. I do miss him terribly." "I know...I do too. That's why I'm talking to you. There's something I have to do, and I won't see you again for a very long time." "You don't have to leave the clan do you?" "In a way, yes. But it's my own choice. I told you and Snowflower my secret and getting it out really helped. I hope Duskpaw forgives me. I can't wait to see him again." A light dawned in her eyes. "No Ridgepaw, you can't-" "I am. And you won't stop me. Tell Snowflower, tell her that now her prediction will be perfectly accurate." "There's something wrong with you Ridgepaw, you're not thinking straight." "Myabe not, but I can't go on living with the guilt. I'm a changed cat now but I would go back. Not this way." She grabbed for him but he slipped past her and took a flying leap off the mountain. She yowled his name and he yowled something as he fell but she could barely make it out. "I want...made new...two eyes." She yowled again and sprinte back to camp, towards the nursery. "SNOWFLOWER!"
|
|
|
Post by Snowflower on Jul 11, 2014 8:49:34 GMT -5
Snowflower stuck her head out of the nursery, the look on Lightpaw's face telling her all that she needed to know. Getting a cat to look after her kittens, she dashed out of camp, hoping that Lightpaw was following. She tracked the scent of Ridgepaw and Lightpaw to the mountain, and she froze in horror. She quickly took action, beginning to climb down the mountain where Ridgepaw was. Leaping onto the ground, she nudged Ridgepaw's body. "Ridgepaw. Ridgepaw, I can feel you breathing. You aren't dead. Open your eyes and look at me. Now." Her voice was taut with worry, anger, fear, and sorrow. She couldn't lose another cat, not again. Ridgepaw was so young, surely it was not his destiny to die so young. "Ridgepaw. I am your superior. I demand that you open your eyes and look at me."
|
|